When you’re single, it is inevitable from time to time that well intentioned people will offer to set you up. What I’m increasingly discovering, though, is the gesture rarely materializes.
Over the last couple of months, three different people have mentioned bachelor friends who they would like to introduce me to. Knowing the trepidation that often comes with trying to play Cupid, I reassured each of them by sharing my no-fault matchmaking policy – i.e., no sparks, no problem. After all, mutual chemistry is unpredictable enough that you can’t really hold someone accountable when it doesn’t happen.
I also make it a point to say I’m flexible about how the connection is initiated – open to either providing my contact info or reaching out to the bachelor in question. In a previous life, the traditionalist in me would have insisted on the guy initiating communication. But having been through the anything goes world of online dating, speed dating and just about everything in between, I’ve learned you can’t stand on ceremony and be completely rules driven if you want to meet someone new.
If only matchmaking-minded folks were equally progressive.
Two of the recent would-be Cupids backpedaled as soon as I indicated my openness to taking them up on their offer. They suggested it would be “less pressure” if I were to meet their bachelor friends in a group setting. Less pressure, no doubt, on them for the matchmaking attempt to be successful.
Why create obstacles to the very objective you’re supposedly trying to facilitate? And why state you’re inclined to play matchmaker if you’re not going to actually follow through on it?
Some would argue it’s the thought that counts here. I say, unless you’re actually willing to put words to action, it’s probably best to keep any matchmaking thoughts to yourself.
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