One of my biggest pet peeves about online dating is the common practice of dragging out pre-meeting communication. Which is why I love HowAboutWe.com’s new “Chemistry Happens Offline” campaign.

The site just launched a new commercial with this theme, and a contest inviting people to post video responses to it on HowAboutWe.com’s YouTube page. Unlike other sites, HowAboutWe.com is all about getting to an in-person date as quickly as possible. Members post date activities they want to do and connecting is as simple as finding one you like and clicking “Let’s Go.” I love this approach because it bypasses the tedium of endless back and forth emailing, IM’ing, texting, etc.

I’ve never understood why people — and I think men and women are equally guilty of this – choose to spend so much time communicating online before actually committing to a date. Email isn’t a predictor of chemistry, and yet it seems like many online daters prefer to become cyber pen pals rather cutting to the chase. That’s how I ended up with the following tagline at the end of my profile:

“Guys interested in interminable online communication need not apply.”

Those few words have saved me a lot of time, because the men who contact me tend to quickly suggest either a phone call or meeting in person. Call me crazy, but isn’t that the whole point of going online in the first place?

That you can only discover chemistry offline is something I’ve been happily reminded of since starting my Nominate A Date adventure a few weeks ago. With each bachelor I’ve met so far, I’ve experienced what can only happen when you meet in person – seeing his reaction to something I’ve said, feeling my own response to what he reveals about himself and perhaps the strongest indicator of a growing connection: forgetting all the first dates that have come before and being completely in the moment.

What does “Chemistry Happens Offline” mean to you? Post a video response on HowAboutWe.com’s YouTube page and you could win $1,500! You can check out my video here. More info can be found on their website and be sure to vote for your favorites (hint, hint). And even though Valentine’s Day is over, HowAboutWe.com is offering a 33% discount off any subscription with coupon code vdaylove.

The contest runs until 12 am on Saturday, March 24th.

There are some nights that remind you why you stay in the journey that is dating — and should remain open to wherever it takes you. Saturday night was one of them.

Introduced for Nominate A Date through a mutual friend, 36-year-old Long Island native M and I first connected a few weeks ago. After talking on the phone, we exchanged a series of texts that revealed M’s playful sense of humor and more than a few common interests. Among them – an affinity for Scrabble, live music and beachside getaways.

Seven Bar & Grill provided the perfect setting for a perfect first date

The conversation continued effortlessly when we met up at Seven Bar & Grill in Midtown West. M greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and gallantly took my coat, as I found myself thinking he was even cuter in person than his Facebook profile picture.

Over a delicious dinner (tuna tartar, lobster bisque soup, pan roasted snapper with lobster crushed potatoes), we bonded over our appreciation for good food and of course dessert (we shared tiramisu and coconut rice pudding). I also learned more about M’s work as a contractor, his longstanding love of guitar playing and why seeing an 80’s cover band – my suggested post-meal activity – wasn’t his first choice.

I happily said yes to his proposed alternative, going to see the Channing Tatum-Rachel McAdams romance, “The Vow.” During the previews, M leaned over a few times to make small talk. I could feel the kind of click that happens when you’re genuinely having a good time with someone.

We both enjoyed the movie – as far as on-screen love stories go, this one managed to be sweet without being too cloying – and, much to my delight, M didn’t let his hour-long journey home cut our evening short.  Our last stop was Houndtooth Pub, where we talked about Caribbean cruises, spiritual retreats and outgrowing the antics of being in your twenties.

It was after 1am when I walked M to Penn Station. Later, I texted him to say thanks for a great night and for coming into NYC.

“Worth the trip,” he replied.

The feeling was more than mutual.

Much as I love New York, sometimes the city that never sleeps can get to be, frankly, a little too much. Invariably, though, whenever I reach that point, the Big Apple reminds me what makes it such a vibrant city. This week, it happened on two great evenings out.

Monday night, I had the pleasure of attending a Q&A hosted by the St. George’s Society (a group for British expats dedicated to UK heritage) with award-winning director Michael Grandage. Michael charmed the intimate audience with his witty, candid insights about working on both the London and New York stages, how performance anxiety and fear can work in an actor’s favor and, of course, his current project – the revival of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Evita.

Evita director Michael Grandage and me

Michael said this incarnation will reflect how much more is known now about Buenos Aires than when Evita was first staged more than thirty years ago. Everything from set design to choreography is infused by this vibrant city’s history. As he spoke about the authenticity that Argentina-born Elena Roger and the wonderful Ricky Martin bring to their roles, I grew even more excited about seeing Evita when previews begin on March 12th.

After a quick post-Q&A chat with Michael, I left thinking how fortunate I am to live in a city full of opportunities to experience great entertainment – and meet the people who make it happen. Last night, I was reminded of another reason I love my hometown so much, its rich food scene.

Last night, I headed out to Williamsburg, for the opening of Japanese restaurant Fushimi’s third location just off of Bedford Street. While sipping on a lychee sake bellini, I took in the dramatic, retro-futuristic décor –stones embedded in LED-lit glass on the spacious bar, custom chandeliers designed to look like a school of jellyfish and a cozy dining room with such flourishes as Geisha murals and tabletops made with Japanese River stones.

Enjoying the atmosphere at Fushimi's opening night celebration

Fushimi is a good choice for either a girls night out or a date (as evidenced by the even ratio of couples and girl groups) and, much to my delight, the food lives up to the setting. During a press preview, a group of food bloggers and I enjoyed a six-course tasting menu of Fushimi’s Japanese fusion fare. My favorites – a peanut-infused lobster salad, Chilean sea bass in a sweet miso base, wasabi truffled filet mignon and sea scallops with pesto and cauliflower puree. Oh and the sushi’s delicious too, if Fushimi’s sex on the beach roll is any indication.

Joining the opening night festivities were VH-1′s Mob Wives stars Angela ‘Big Ang’ Raiola and Carla Facciolo. Though I’ve never seen Mob Wives before (and I’m perfectly okay with that), I couldn’t help appreciating that a night out in New York can mean rubbing elbows with random reality stars. And just like that, I became a little less jaded and little more starstruck again – with my hometown.

Up next…the scoop about Nominate A Date bachelor #2!

I couldn’t have picked a better day than Valentine’s Day to kick off my Nominate A Date adventure. Yesterday was exactly what February 14th should be – a celebration of love in all its forms.

After a joyous afternoon marked by texts from friends and cupcakes and candy at work, I headed over to Mickey Mantle’s in Midtown to meet up with life coach A. A charmed me when we met at a singles mixer last week, especially when his response to hearing from a mutual friend about Nominate A Date was to say –

“I’d like to nominate myself.”

A thoughtfully followed up with an email the next day and didn’t balk in the slightest about getting together on Valentine’s Day.  He surprised me with a card and we both laughed about the inevitable challenge of finding one that isn’t on the excessive scale of Hallmark sentiment.

Over wine and a shared plate of delicious popcorn shrimp, we fell into easy conversation about overseas travel, my Hispanic heritage and how much we enjoyed Sunday’s poignant Grammy telecast.  We both agreed that the showstopper was Jennifer Hudson’s haunting , tear-inducing version of “I Will Always Love You.”

The Artist: filmmaking at its best -- and a great date movie

Speaking of powerful performances, we went to see Oscar-nominated hit “The Artist.” Though A had watched a screener version at home a few weeks ago, he graciously agreed to see it again with me. We joined a packed crowd at NYC’s legendary Paris Theater for two of the most delightful hours I’ve spent at the movies in a long time. A love letter to films from a bygone era, “The Artist” takes you on a joyful, heartfelt journey – led capably by Berenice Bejo and Jean Dujardin. They light up the screen with their irresistible chemistry.

Afterward, A suggested we go to a piano bar. With an early morning the next day, I asked for a rain check. He walked me to the bus and, as we said goodbye, called out—

“Ciao Bella!”

Great ending to a great night.

Coming up…the scoop on date #2. Want to Nominate A Date for me? Click here for more info!

Like everyone else, I was shocked and saddened by the death of Whitney Houston yesterday. It’s hard to process that the legendary Grammy-winning singer is gone at 48, never to grace the stage again.

I was 11 years old when Whitney’s debut catapulted her into music superstardom. I remember buying a 45 lp of “You Give Good Love,” then the full album shortly thereafter — because how could you not want to hear more of that transcendent voice?

Whitney’s soaring ballads and majestic pop songs provided the soundtrack for so many moments in my life. Nursing a teenage broken heart to “Didn’t We Almost Have It All.” Dancing the night away with college girlfriends to “I’m Every Woman.” Celebrating the promise of a new love at 30 to “I Believe in You and Me.”

I had the good fortune of seeing Whitney live in concert once, back in 1993. Her voice filled Radio City Music Hall, leaving no doubt why she had already taken her place in the pantheon of beloved performers whose talent will always be remembered and celebrated.

In watching CNN’s coverage of Whitney’s death, I was happy to hear Piers Morgan say the focus should be on her legacy and not her personal difficulties. I couldn’t agree more. Though you can’t help thinking she would still be here were it not for those challenges, what will endure is her music.

My thoughts and prayers go out to Whitney’s family, most especially to her 18 year old daughter Bobbi Kristina. Having lost my mother when I was 24, I know all too well the searing pain that comes with death cruelly snatching a parent too soon.

One of my favorite Whitney songs is “Step by Step,” from The Preacher’s Wife soundtrack. A joyous affirmation about finding the strength to face whatever life brings, it has given me much comfort over the years. It contains the following lyrics:

Well there’s a bridge and there’s a river
That I still must cross
Though I’m going on my journey
And I might be lost
And there’s a road I have to follow,
A place I have to go
But no one told me just how to get there
But when I get there I’ll know

Rest in peace Whitney.

 Yesterday, a friend of mine raised the question that pretty much every dating blogger asks herself at some point – is writing about my love life actually keeping me single? It’s a question that’s come up quite a bit lately, since I announced my Nominate A Date adventure.

Two bachelor candidates that friends wanted to set me up with balked upon discovering I have a blog. Though I can certainly appreciate and understand being a private person, I can’t help also noticing how different the reaction was from men I met during my Great Dating Blitz. All of the bachelors in the eight cities I visited knew about SingleGalNYC.com and didn’t hesitate to meet with me and be themselves when we went out.

With that openness came an implicit understanding, I think, that I would be respectful in what I wrote — and keep identifying details pretty general so that their privacy would be maintained. Here in New York, where being guarded and suspicious is second nature, even reassurances to keep things anonymous (or even off the blog entirely) isn’t enough for some.

Perhaps the most frustrating recent example – a guy I connected with during the tail end of a girls night out. We clicked immediately.

“It figures I haven’t met anyone I wanted to go home with tonight…until now,” he said flirtatiously.

He gave me his business card, and kissed me on the cheek when he put me in a cab before heading off with friends. When I emailed him to suggest drinks, he responded—

“I sincerely apologize if my European heritage/behavior sent mixed messages, however I am not looking for dating. Believe me, if I were, those piercing blue eyes of yours, charming smile and great stories would have me flinging myself at you. But if my gallant efforts were to be successful that might put ruin to your blogging career… at least in its current incarnation. I would hate to be responsible for you looking for a new URL.”

Now, of course, he might genuinely just not be interested. Call me crazy, though, but his ‘mixed message’ seemed to continue in the above missive – with the underlying one being the blog is what turned him off.

People often say that meeting someone will mean the end of my blogging career.  These people aren’t writers. Because, as I told Mr. European, writers always have something to say – it’s simply in our DNA. I know this for sure – I’m about to finish handwritten journal #98.

As for whether having the subject of my blog be singlehood is a deterrent to finding Mr. Right, I’m not so sure about that. For all of the gun-shy guys out there, I’ve also dated some that have had no problem with being part of my little corner of cyberspace. Like adorable PR executive E, who smiled sweetly at my online accounts of our first few dates. Or hunky cop Rich, who not only didn’t mind the blog but gladly brainstormed ideas for future posts.

Bottom line – they both understood that writing is a huge part of who I am. The right guy will too.

Single or not, I’ve always been a big fan of Valentine’s Day. If you look at the occasion more broadly than greeting card companies or popular media does, it’s an opportunity to celebrate love in all forms – and that includes pampering yourself too. And what better way to do that than with a girls day out?

On Location Tours is offering the perfect way to have fun with a galpal – two free tickets to their fantastic Gossip Girl tour around NYC. The tour takes you on dozens of locations featured in the popular TV series, from Blair Waldorf’s apartment building to Gilt, the swanky restaurant where (among other key GG moments) Chuck tried to win Serena’s affection with a special-ordered grilled cheese sandwich with truffle oil.

Share the YouTube link (above) for Nominate A Date to be entered to win!

To be entered to win, all you have to do is share this link to my YouTube video for Nominate A Date – either on Twitter (hashtag: #NominateADate) or via Facebook ( and tag my full name: Melissa Braverman) in your post. The winner will be announced right here on, yes, February 14th!

Speaking of fabulous giveaways, Daniel Ruyter — one of my favorite dating and relationship writers — is hosting one on his site, Memoirs of A Single Dad. All you have to do is share your best (or worst) dating story for a chance to win $500 in prizes! Among the items up for grabs: a free six-month membership to eHarmony.com, $100 in (Paypal) cash and a personally autographed copy of Daniel’s book, Memoirs of a Dating Dad.

All you have to do to enter is submit your story here. Winners — determined by stories that receive the most ‘votes’ (i.e. Tweets, Facebook shares, etc.) – will be announced on February 15th, 2012. And yes, full disclosure here, I’ve already entered myself! Click here to read about my best first date ever!

(photo courtesy: online-matchmaker.org)

I’ve always been a big believer in getting out of my comfort zone and shaking things up. That’s why I’ve dubbed 2012 the year of Just Say Yes. And it is in that spirit of open mindedness that I am excited to announce my next big adventure – Nominate A Date.

Beginning February 14th, I will spend the better part of eight weeks going on a series of blind dates. Each date will be with a bachelor of anyone’s choosing. Yes, that means if you’re willing to take the time to play matchmaker, I will go out with whoever you connect me with.

As longtime readers of this blog know, this isn’t my first experiment in seeing how social media and dating intersect. In 2010, I embarked on two Dating Blitzes – one across the U.S., the other in Europe – that connected me with many smart, fabulous single men and women. I learned so much from both experiences, but perhaps the greatest lesson was how important it is to savor the journey of singlehood and not be defined by where you want it to take you.

So what makes Nominate A Date different? The obvious answer, of course, is that this two month adventure will take place right here in my hometown. After exploring single life in eight other cities and six other countries, it feels right to come back to where I started – a little older and (hopefully) wiser.  And what better place to apply another major insight from both blitzes, that everyone has a touch of Cupid in them?

There are only two ground rules for Nominate A Date — each date must take place here in NYC and all bachelors must be between the ages of 27 and 47. Why such a big age spread? Because this experience is all about casting aside any preconceived notions about dating ‘types.’ And – full disclosure here — having been raised by a happily married couple with a 25-year age difference who adored each other, I’m one of those people who doesn’t think such gaps are an obstacle to chemistry.

I hope you’ll join me — and help spread the word — as I embark on this exciting new chapter. Click here to see my YouTube video about Nominate A Date and feel free to email me at SingleGalInTheCity@gmail.com with any questions. In addition to my blog updates, you can follow my adventure on Twitter with hashtag #NominateADate.

Who will you nominate? Let the matchmaking begin!

When it comes to first dates, it’s safe to say the whole point is for two people to get to know each other. Which is why I remain baffled whenever I encounter someone who perceives it more as the chance to have an audience of one.

Over the years, I’ve had a handful of first dates during which the guy pretty much monopolized the entire conversation. There was the once engaged bachelor who, clearly still in heartbreak mode, opted to share chapter and verse about what precipitated the breakup. Or the chatty piano player who barely let me get a word in edgewise, later admitting via email that he tends to talk a lot when he’s nervous. Both completely understandable scenarios – unlike my outing with an OkCupid member the other night.

His profile was so well written and detailed that I didn’t think too much about its copious length. Especially since his introductory email managed to sound flattering yet sincere. When we spoke on the phone, he spent most of our 20-minute chat telling me about his extensive wine expertise. Though this was a major clue into how much he likes to hear his own voice, I opted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was nervous, I told myself. And, after all, aren’t we thirtysomething women often accused of not giving men a fair chance?

So I meet Mr. Wine Expert for drinks. Not surprisingly, he selects a perfect venue in Midtown – a unique hybrid of wine bar and sports bistro that was comfortably quiet on this particular night. I compliment him on being a connoisseur, to which he replies with an explanation of the word’s true origin and that it doesn’t always have a positive connotation. And then, for the next two hours, he did not stop talking. About the differences between grape varietals, what makes beer Belgian, why he speaks several languages and why he hates being asked what his favorite restaurant is.

I tried a few times to interject, but each time he made sure the conversation reverted squarely back to him. As I sat there, I couldn’t help wondering – would this monologue ever end? And, more importantly, how could I make a fast exit in time to get home and watch the SAG Awards?

The one redeeming part of the evening? I only missed the first 20 minutes of the awards.

The Hurricane Club: Our corner banquette (pictured back left here) offered a perfect view of the SATC-esque crowd

Our first stop — the Hurricane Club, a swanky Asian fusion restaurant with high ceilings, huge potted plants and a Casablanca meets Sex And The City vibe. As I took in the perfectly coiffed, fashionista and GQ-heavy crowd, we enjoyed the exotic flavors for which this place is known (sangria garnished with lychee and flowers, PB and guava “J” with thai basil, cashew chicken).

After a sinfully decadent dessert of chocolate devils food cake with a carmelized banana slice, we walked a few blocks north to the Gansevoort Hotel on Park Avenue. Like its equally trendy SoHo sibling, the newer Gansevoort has become a place to see and be seen. Velvet ropes, guest lists, bouncers with attitude — you get the idea.

Fortunately, though we weren’t on any guest list, Bobbi managed to work her charm and the fact that we were a group of six women to get us inside after only a 15 minute wait. Much as I feared, what we found at the hotel’s rooftop bar wasn’t my idea of a good time — loud, thumping music and an overcrowded scene.

Call me a party pooper, but all the allure of floor to ceiling windows, plush couches and low lightings dims pretty quickly when you’re constantly getting jostled.

Sensing my lack of enthusiasm, Bobbi read my mind when she said–

“We’re getting too old for this.”

Amen to that.

And so, one quick non-alcoholic drink later, I said goodnight and stepped onto the elevator — whereupon I found myself standing across from a cute, salt and pepper haired guy. He smiled at me, quickly introduced himself and before I knew it, we were sitting in the lobby exchanging tales of travel and creative inspirations.

It turned out he was celebrating a friend’s birthday. I was ready to head home anyway, so we exited together — and he gallantly walked me to a taxi.

I was still smiling as the cab pulled up in front of my building. For the first time in a long time, new york had surprised me in a good way. Like my often exasperating, never let up hometown was telling this single gal — hang in there, you never know what’s right around the corner.

I just love it when that happens.