So, as just about everyone in the world knows by now, Heidi Klum and Seal are calling it quits. While reading some of the excessive media coverage about their divorce, I couldn’t help thinking how it confirms an all too common relationship trend today – when the going gets tough, the tough (literally) get going right out the door.

Not So Happily Ever After: Maybe Heidi Klum and Seal got tired of wearing silly costumes together? (photo credit: SIPA)

Like many high-profile celebrity couples, Heidi Klum and Seal were known for repeated instances of PDA, not to mention renewing their vows with lavish themed ceremonies every year. Considering they’ve been married less than 7 years, it seems like the supermodel and singer got more caught up in the fanfare of showing off their relationship – or talking about it, as Seal has ad nauseum on TV this week — than actually being committed to maintaining it.

Much as I have been and  always will be a fan of PDA,  I don’t think lasting love is something that demands being continually shouted from the rooftops. Just ask Beyonce and Jay-Z. In the ten years that they’ve been together, the ultra-private duo has refrained from gushing publicly about each other. They seem to understand that it’s in the quiet space of honoring their marriage vows that their mutual happiness resides.

Heidi Klum and Seal have plenty of company when it comes to thinking otherwise – and that better or worse isn’t a vow but instead an opt-out clause.  Married or not (and famous or not), it’s become all too easy for couples to bolt at the first sign of trouble. And for that matter, when you’re single and dating, to try and skip over the bumps because you only want those perfect PDA moments.

Relationships are about riding out all of it – the good, the bad and, in the case of more than a few of Heidi Klum and Seal’s costume choices, the ugly.

When it comes to celebrating your birthday, there’s no greater gift than being able to spend it with the people you love. Yesterday, I had the pleasure of doing exactly that with a supersized girls night out.

Girls Night Out: (from left) Faith, Crystal, Alexandra, Julie, me, Lisa and Sara

After a relaxing afternoon – homecooked brunch with a mimosa followed by a massage – I kicked off the evening’s festivities with my cousin and best friend Alexandra, who greeted me with flowers and a beautiful card. A makeup goddess, Alexa worked her magic on my face before we headed down to Café Iguana in Midtown West.

Joining in the festivities – my good friends Sara, Lisa, Julie, Faith and Crystal, five additional reminders of how blessed I am in the girlfriends department.

Mariachi Fun: Me and Lisa enjoying Cafe Iguana's serenade

In between serenades from Iguana’s lively mariachi band, the sangria and conversation flowed. Among other things, we talked about Faith’s engagement, Crystal’s passion for belly dancing and, of course, my upcoming dating adventure. It has to be said, being bold is much easier when you have a posse of fabulous women cheering you on.

The night was still young, so we continued the celebration 80’s style at Culture Club. With its neon-tinged walls covered with music and pop culture icons (MJ, Molly Ringwald, Pacman, etc.), the recently-reopened venue  provided a perfect backdrop for getting our old school groove on.

If my birthday is any indication, 38 is going to be a fabulous year!

Readers of this blog know I’m not one to rest on my laurels when it comes to being a single gal in the city. I’m always thinking of new ways I can get out of my comfort zone and shake things up dating wise. Every once in awhile, inspiration strikes – and that’s exactly what happened last night.

Maybe it’s because I’m a few days away from turning 38, because I’ve decided 2012 is the year of Just Say Yes or a little of both, but I’ve come up with my next big adventure. 

After two Dating Blitzes, memberships with various dating websites and about a dozen rounds of speed dating, it’s time to try something a little different. Something that will take me on a new journey without (necessarily) taking me out of my zip code.  Having explored single life across the U.S. and Europe, I’m ready to take one of the biggest lessons I learned from my travels and apply it right here in my hometown.

And that’s where you come in. This next adventure will be a much more interactive one, one that combines a dash of romance, a generous helping of modern technology and a healthy portion of good old fashioned fun.  It’s a recipe I can’t wait to share and I will — on Valentine’s Day.

Want to chime in with your thoughts or follow along as I gear up for the February 14th reveal? Post a comment here or follow me on Twitter with hashtag #2012Adventure.

The countdown is ON!!

What does your choice of razor say about your dating style? According to the folks at Schick Quattro For Women, quite a bit.

To celebrate the launch of its newest Quattro razor, the brand has created a Facebook quiz — What’s Your Dating Trim style? Answer a series of questions to find out whether you’re foxy, classic, spontaneous, planned, etc. Now through February 29, fans of Schick Quattro For Women’s Facebook Page who take the quiz will receive a $1 coupon for the brand’s TrimStyle razor.

Schick unveiled the promotion during a recent girls night out event at NYC’s Bryant Park hotel.

Flirty cocktails at the event highlighted the different Dating Trim Style types

Guests also got a sneak preview of the new web series that Schick is sponsoring, Dating Rules From My Future Self. The witty, entertaining show (from the producers of Gossip Girl) has a clever premise — what if you could get advice now from your future self? — and a twentysomething cast with all the sass and charm of Sex and the City ‘s ladies. Definitely worth watching.

The evening’s featured speaker, dating expert Andrea Syrtash, author of He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s A Good Thing) shared some advice. When it comes to first dates, Syrtash advises– 

“Be your vacation self — be present and don’t overanalyze. Ask yourself, ‘Am I having fun with this person? Am I curious to know more?’”

 Andrea’s other top tips for giving your love life a makeover this year:

• Take risks and get outside your comfort zone
• You can’t have intimacy without vulnerability
• Surround yourself with people who bring out your best
• Be passionate and love your life

“Relationships are hard work — dating should be fun,” Syrtash says. 

Agreed. How do you plan to add more fun to your dating life in 2012?

Continuing my 2012 resolution to do more mingling, I did a second speed dating event last week – hosted by 8 Minute Dating.

I was especially curious about this one, because every other time I’ve done speed dating, each mini-date lasted only 4-5 minutes. And I remember a woman telling me years ago that she didn’t like it because eight minutes can be very long when you’re sitting across from someone you don’t immediately click with.

World Bar, located in a Trump building known for being home to celebs

When I arrived at World Bar in Midtown, I was struck by two things right away – the venue was very swanky while the crowd was, well, awkward.  Both the women and men seemed equally uncomfortable, a group not nearly as outgoing or approachable as what I’ve experienced with 8 Minute Dating’s competitors. Another difference — 8 Minute Dating gives you three different options for saying yes to someone you’ve met. You can select any or all of the following – friendship, networking, second date.

As it turns out, though an eight-minute mini-date definitely feels less rushed, it doesn’t necessarily improve your odds of connecting with anyone. I’ve done speed dating about dozen times over the years and this was the first event I walked away from without any matches (my average has been 4-6 at previous events). In other words, not really worth $4o — and I wasn’t the only one who thought so.

“How’s it going?” I asked one guy during a cocktail break in the evening.

“It’s going,” he said flatly.

For my money, HurryDate is still the best bet when it comes to speed dating. Which is why it is also on my to do list for 2012 — and so is giving it a try outside the tricky terrain of NYC. Stay tuned!

When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, one of my biggest ones is a pretty popular one — getting back in shape. Between changing gyms and going back to work full time, I kind of lost my fitness mojo in 2011. Since getting a personal trainer to kick my butt isn’t in my budget (for now!), I’m embracing other tools that will help me fit into the clothes currently relegated to the back of my closet. A new favorite –  Gaiam TV.

It’s no secret that TV and having a fitness buddy can make a big difference when it comes to sticking with an exercise plan and making your workout time fly by (Millionaire Matchmaker is one of my guilty viewing pleasures at the gym, heaven help me). Gaiam TV combines both as the first streaming video subscription service designed for health and wellness. Like Netflix for the fitness minded, it has hundreds of hours of online yoga, Pilates and cardio classes. When I took advantage of a free preview, I was impressed to find that you can practice with top, nationally known instructors like Rodney Yee, Seane Corn, Jillian Michaels, Mari Winsor and Kathryn Budig.

In addition to being user friendly, Gaiam TV’s yoga and fitness studios are flexible. You can customize workouts for weight loss, total body sculpting or increased energy and narrow down your options based on level, style, instructor and amount of available time. And it’s also easy to search for videos, make playlists and preview selections. As a subscriber, you can rate and review programs.

Again, like Netflix, Gaiam TV offers 24/7 instant access. The company’s complete library of award-winning videos is available anytime, and streaming capabilities include personal computers, iPads and smartphones. With the $9.95 monthly subscription fee, you can stream unlimited content and members can cancel at anytime.

Not sold yet? Gaiam TV is offering a free 10-day trial — no strings attached — to prospective subscribers. Click here for more info.

As part of my Just Say Yes mantra for 2012, I’m getting back into the swing of things dating wise – and that means taking another stab at speed dating.

Though I’ve done it a handful of times over the years, Thursday marked my first experience with NYMinuteDating. The event was held in the back room at cozy Latin American fusion restaurant La Zarza in NYC’s East Village. During the pre-event mingling period, I chatted with friendly fortysomething bachelor David about why we love New York more than California (seasonal changes, more to do anytime day or night, etc.) and the rush of zip lining.

La Zarza: the cozy East Village restaurant and lounge is an ideal venue for speed dating

David casually mentioned he was divorced – one of many bachelors on hand in this category. Much like bars or restaurants, every speed dating company has its own personality and attracts a certain kind of clientele. If Thursday’s event is any indication, NYMinuteDating attracts its fair share of divorced men with children and guys who work in IT. Of the 17 bachelors in attendance, about half of them were software developers.

Another trend with this group – revealing a little too much. One of the divorced men took up most of our four minutes together talking about being divorced, why his teenage daughters want him to start dating again and the new house he just moved into. Speaking of real estate, another bachelor was a little too eager to talk about his 10,000 square foot pad on Central Park West and the huge New Year’s party he hosted.

Then, there was the bachelor who began his conversation with the girl to my right by asking—

“Why are you still single?”

Call me picky, but that’s not exactly the friendliest conversation starter.

Thankfully, there were a handful of guys who reminded me why this round robin approach to meeting new people can be so much fun. Nashville native turned Brooklyn resident Chyld charmed me with his slight accent, affection for barbecue and playful smile. World traveler Greg entertained with tales of a recent visit to one of my favorite cities, Berlin, while Canadian-born Alistair admitted that he trekked all the way from Connecticut for the event.

As someone who’s a big fan of crossing state lines to put yourself out there, I loved his candor about it. David was equally candid his agenda—

“I want to meet someone.”

Who says all NYC men are players?

FYI – NYMinuteDating is a great last-minute option for a fun night out. While most speed dating events sell out for women well in advance, many of the singles (myself included) booked on Thursday and the event was still well attended with a balanced ratio and guys and girls. Bottom line — $35 well spent.

When it comes to buying roses, NYC can be a bit thorny – with a high volume of overpriced florists on one end and bodegas selling cheap, quickly drooping flowers on the other. Which is why I was excited to discover an alternative that does this floral favorite justice, Ode à la ROSE.

As the company’s name suggests, Ode only does roses and their expertise shows in their French-inspired designs. Co-founders Louis and Olivier bring a touch of their native France to their arrangements, every one of which is created in-house by Ode’s own florists. Orders are hand delivered the same day, no more than a couple of hours after they’re arranged so roses are in tip top shape when you receive them.

This beautiful arrangement from Ode a La Rose greeted me on my first day at work

If you want roses that will make you swoon, Ode knows how to get the job done. I know this because I had the pleasure of receiving an Ode à la ROSE bouquet on my first day at Evins Communications a few months ago. Everyone who walked past my desk joined me in oohing and aahing over the lovely presentation of tightly packed pale pink roses bundled together in tiny silver pails.

Speaking of presentation, Ode à la ROSE pays loving attention to every detail — flowers arrive in boxes adorned with the company’s logo, and you receive an email with a photo of your arrangement just before it leaves the shop. If love is in the details, then Ode à la ROSE is an example of l’amour extraordinaire.

How lovely is this packaging?

If you live in the metropolitan New York area, you simply won’t find roses of this quality or presentation anywhere else. Ode à la ROSE’s pricing is affordable too – especially for Single Gal In The City readers. The company is offering 10% off of your first order. Call 1-646-660-5281, email info@odealarose.com or visit Ode’s website and use discount code SINGLEGAL.

(photo courtesy: DatingHeadshots.com)

With the new year here at last, I’m getting back out into the dating scene. That means going online again — and relearning some of odd rules of dating in cyberspace.

Beware of weird/cutesy profile names: Though not always the case, it’s safe to say that an unusual profile handle often equals an equally unusual person. Among the more colorful guys I’ve heard from — monkey_vs_robot, out_to_late_NYC and easternspice4u.

Being overly familiar isn’t a turn on: even after online dating on and off for years, I’m astounded at how many people don’t know the difference between flirting and creepy come ons. Among the recent opening gambits I’ve received: “Hi Honey” and “You are yummy.” In a word, ewww.

Lengthy emails and chat mean nothing: Many bachelors online seem to favor back and forth communicating that never goes anywhere. Case in point — the fortysomething hotel exec who followed up a five paragraph email and one hour conversation with…zilch.

Disappearing and reappearing require no explanation: In a dating medium designed for short attention spans and shopping around, this is an all too common occurrence. My favorite recent example — the Connecticut bachelor I chatted with who said he would call me back but never did, only to resurface in an email a month later. I invited him to give me a call. “Will do,” he says. He doesn’t then emails me again three months later. “Hi Melissa, long time!” he writes, oddly given that he disappeared twice. 

Speaking of disappearing acts, not all are the same. I’m actually meeting up this week for date number three with a charming, cute OkCupid bachelor — three months after date number two took place.

Here’s to an eventful 2012, on and offline!

As 2011 draws to a close, I can’t help feeling a little reflective about the last year and where it’s taken me.

I began the first half of 2011 doing freelance work before pounding the pavement for a full time gig. It took dozens of mind numbing interviews at 17 companies before landing at Evins Communications – an exhausting process that made dating seem like a cakewalk by comparison. Still, I opted to scale back on the search for Mr. Right and focus my energies elsewhere (including a new passion — cooking). Here are some of the highlights of 2011, by the numbers:

Number of companies interviewed at: 17
Number of job interviews: 38
Number of Weekend Getaways: 12
Number of concerts: 6
Number of Europe Dating Blitz bachelors seen in NYC: 1
Number of dates:  14
Number of friends who got engaged: 2

Bride-to-be Faith and me at my recent holiday party

Both of my betrothed friends met their respective fiancés online, which leads me to think I may have to incorporate cyberspace dating into my Just Say Yes mantra for 2012. One of the brides to be, my fantastic galpal Faith, has asked me to be her maid of honor – a delightful duty I haven’t had in more than a decade. I couldn’t be more proud or excited to stand beside her.

Who knows? By the time Faith’s big day comes around, maybe I’ll have a plus one to join me.