Category: blind dates


September 1st, 2013 — 1:40pm

When you’re single, it is inevitable from time to time that well intentioned people will offer to set you up. What I’m increasingly discovering, though, is the gesture rarely materializes.

Over the last couple of months, three different people have mentioned bachelor friends who they would like to introduce me to. Knowing the trepidation that often comes with trying to play Cupid, I reassured each of them by sharing my no-fault matchmaking policy – i.e., no sparks, no problem. After all, mutual chemistry is unpredictable enough that you can’t really hold someone accountable when it doesn’t happen.

I also make it a point to say I’m flexible about how the connection is initiated – open to either providing my contact info or reaching out to the bachelor in question. In a previous life, the traditionalist in me would have insisted on the guy initiating communication. But having been through the anything goes world of online dating, speed dating and just about everything in between, I’ve learned you can’t stand on ceremony and be completely rules driven if you want to meet someone new.

If only matchmaking-minded folks were equally progressive.

Two of the recent would-be Cupids backpedaled as soon as I indicated my openness to taking them up on their offer. They suggested it would be “less pressure” if I were to meet their bachelor friends in a group setting. Less pressure, no doubt, on them for the matchmaking attempt to be successful.

Why create obstacles to the very objective you’re supposedly trying to facilitate? And why state you’re inclined to play matchmaker if you’re not going to actually follow through on it?

Some would argue it’s the thought that counts here. I say, unless you’re actually willing to put words to action, it’s probably best to keep any matchmaking thoughts to yourself.

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February 27th, 2012 — 9:01pm

Wednesday night, I met up with Nominate A Date bachelor #3, New Jersey resident Kai. Our date is a wonderful example of how serendipity sometimes has a romantic streak.

Kai recently attended a disastrous speed dating event — attended solely by him and a few women. The event took place at a comedy club, so Kai ended up as the target of a few performers. He handled it so graciously that he caught the attention of my friend Annabel. Annabel has a good track when it comes to playing matchmaker – she set me up with from my European Dating Blitz.

Knowing about my adventure, Annabel mentioned it to Kai. He proceeded to send me an email that confirmed her initial impressions of him as a fun, easygoing guy. Especially when he referenced Nominate A Date in a way that indicated he had a lighthearted view of my unconventional approach to meeting new people.

Kai and I enjoyed cocktails and great conversation at Reunion Surf Bar (photo credit: DailyCandy.com)

As soon as we met, I was struck by Kai’s great smile, warm personality – and knack for picking an ideal place in which to get to know each other. Our first stop was Reunion Surf Bar, a fun, flirty downstairs bar tucked away in Hell’s Kitchen. The beach hut vibe and steady soundtrack of 70’s and 80’s pop music makes you feel like you’re anywhere but in the city. Kai and I found plenty to talk about with our mutual love of travel, karaoke and taking bold leaps of faith where dating is concerned.

We traded a few speed dating horror stories before heading onto Mercury Bar, where the effortless conversation continued as we sat closer to each other. I found myself smiling a lot and feeling none of the awkwardness that often goes along with a first date.

Chemistry was the word that kept coming to mind after Kai and I said goodnight nearly five hours later. And how you never know when or where it’s going to find you, so why not just embrace that?

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December 17th, 2011 — 2:08pm

Last night, my friend Kristina and I headed down to Concrete Bar and Restaurant in Midtown West. I arrived first and noticed something unusual right away – there were about 18 guys and less than half as many ladies. When I tweeted the welcome change in New York’s typically lopsided ratio, a bachelor friend in Atlanta quickly responded –

“That’s how every bar in Atlanta is. #notmykindofratio.”

I laughed, thinking maybe it’s time for me to pay another visit to the second stop on my Great Dating Blitz last year.

After Kristina arrived, we took a corner table upstairs and over cornflake-encrusted chicken fingers and spiced fries, dove into some serious girl talk about work, dating and biological clocks. Like me, Kristina is a thirtysomething bachelorette who appreciates the traditional mores of dating that seem to be so fleeting these days.

I told her about the handful of dates I went on earlier this year with a guy who subscribed to those old-fashioned ways – making reservations for someplace special, picking up the phone just to say hello, etc. Interestingly, the night we met started off disastrously. Introduced by mutual friends, we didn’t click at all because he pummeled me with questions about this blog. Maybe it’s hypocritical of me, but I’m not a fan of being given the third degree right after meeting someone for the first time.

Anyway, I actually had a backup date on standby and was prepared to beat a hasty retreat once our mutual friends took off. Much to my surprise, the guy turned to me and asked—

“Would you like to get some dinner?”

I was floored. Here I had been practically rolling my eyes at him for nearly an hour and he was brave enough to ask me out. What the hell? I figured.

“Sure,” I said.

And so the worst blind date ever ended up turning into the best. For some reason, once our friends had left, the chemistry between us fell into place and eight blissful hours later, we were smooching like teenagers.

Though it would turn out we had less chemistry emotionally speaking, the evening taught me a very important lesson about being open to possibilities. Up next, how that’s becoming the basis of my number one New Year’s resolution.

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October 25th, 2010 — 4:19pm

Bridesmaid Duty: Led to an unexpected voicemail from a not-so-single bachelor

It’s no secret that New York is a city that moves fast — so fast that when it comes to dating, quantity seems to be more desirable than quality. After seven weeks of traveling around Europe, I was reintroduced to this volume versus commitment mentality with a would-be blind date.

One of the other bridesmaids in my friend Heidi’s recent wedding asked if she could set me up with a friend of hers. Since blind dates are a 50-50 proposition — slightly better odds than NYC’s singles scene — I gladly said yes.

Imagine my surprise when Mr. Blind Date left me a voicemail. A very lengthy voicemail about reconciling with his girlfriend that included the following–

“[Our friend] gave me your number, you know, she was trying to help me out with trying to find a girlfriend…Actually I was dating somebody else and we had broken up and now we’re kind of back together again, so right now I’m kind of like in a gray zone right now where I’m kind dating her right now again and…I kind of got back together with her so right now, like, I wanna see how that goes right now and you know, I don’t know if you could be patient or not and see if this works out or it doesn’t work out.

Um, but I just wanted to let you know because I really appreciate that you are trying to meet with me too, so I really appreciate that. But I want to be honest with you and I want to be honest with the person I’m seeing right now. So, um, I guess I don’t know where it’s going to go right now, but I just wanted to see if you could be patient. And I guess I can let you know..And by all means, you know, explore and search. I know the dating world in New York is really tough. Anyway…I know we didn’t talk but hopefully there’s a future for you and for me maybe together or not. Either way, thank you for your number. Bye.”

Okay, definitely TMI (not to mention bad grammar) for someone you’ve never met before but I appreciated the guy’s honesty. Until he called me the next day — and asked me out for drinks.

“It sounds like you have your hands full,” I said, declining the invitation.”

“Um, yeah, I guess I do,” he responded sheepishly.

I couldn’t decide what was more irritating. That he had left a two-minute monologue on my voicemail, or that he was foolish enough to ask me out after revealing he has a girlfriend. Yikes.

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July 20th, 2010 — 5:15pm

Thursday, I headed over to Triad, a cozy comedy club on NYC’s Upper West Side, to be a contestant on

ABackstage At The Fix-Up Show: (from left): Crystal, Prince, me and Scott Adsit

Affable host J.Keith Van Straaten led me and my friends Crystal and Prince backstage, where we met the evening’s other matchmaker — charming “30 Rock” actor Scott Adsit.

Scott shared stories of his time at Chicago’s legendary improv troop Second City and long but fulfilling days on set of the hit NBC comedy. It was great to hear Tina Fey is as nice offscreen as she seems on.

The show got underway with me joining J.Keith in front of the audience for a lively conversation about what I’m looking for in a guy and what kinds of date activities I find appealing.  He asked me to rate a variety of suggestions from show sponsor , including golf at Chelsea Piers and shooting at a local gun club. Both of them ranked higher than a UN guided tour or toy shopping at FAO Schwartz.

I soon retreated backstage to let Crystal, Prince and Scott vet the evening’s three bachelors. First up — songwriter Dan, who impressed me and the crowd with an impromptu tune incorporating my name. Next was Dan, an artist who endearingly admitted his cooking skills are limited to breakfast (nothing wrong with that!).

It was bachelor #3, though, who sounded most intriguing. A Brooklyn-based opera singer/venture capitalist with a booming alto voice — yes, he too was put on the spot to sing — Ethan gamely answered every question thrown at him. Prince asked if, given his travel schedule, Ethan had enough time to devote to a relationship. He said yes, though I had my doubts upon finding out he has two dogs. My has been that Fido tends to come before all else.

I’ll find out tonight over drinks if Ethan is the same.

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July 14th, 2010 — 8:24pm

Tomorrow, as part of my month-long exercise in trying at least two new things each week, I’ll be a contestant on The Fix-Up Show.

Triad: The Fix-Up Show takes place weekly at this club on NYC's Upper West Side

Two of my friends will join celebrity guest “30 Rock” actor Scott Adsit and host J. Keith Van Straaten in setting me up before a live audience. After the show’s rave review in , I can’t wait to see what happens.

Want to be part of the fun? You can buy discounted tickets by and entering the code SINGLE for a special discount. Or visit The Fix-Up Show’s . Watch this space to find out where my on-stage adventure leads!

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June 1st, 2010 — 6:49pm

Imagine having two of your friends team up with a celebrity to find you a date. That’s exactly what new weekly panel and matchmaking comedy program The Fix-Up Show will be doing.

Hosted by J. Keith van Straaten, The Fix-Up Show will take place at The Triad on NYC’s Upper West Side. Two single New Yorkers looking for love will be fixed up on a date, live on stage. The matched pair wins a meal at a local restaurant

“Unlike other dating shows, The Fix-Up Show promises civility, with no…drunken seduction or having to eat bugs to prove one’s affection,” says the show’s website.

Sounds much better than The Bachelorette to me.

The Fix-Up Show launches next Tuesday June 8th, with six shows currently scheduled through July 22nd. Tickets are $15 cash at the door or $10 advance through . For more info, .

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November 18th, 2008 — 7:39pm
The other night, I heard from Michael, a guy that my friend and fellow travel PR maven/blogger wants to set me up with. As we chatted about our mutual appreciation for Latin dancing and NYC’s theater scene, I couldn’t help thinking about the unpredictability of blind dates – and some of the memorable setups I’ve experienced.

There’s been no shortage of blind dates that failed to ignite any sparks. Like the tête à tête with a 40-something businessman who scoffed at my decision to leave the world of TV news behind for a career in PR. Or the who kept me waiting for a half an hour then proceeded to talk only about himself.

For every lackluster matchmaking attempt, though, I’ve been fortunate enough to experience a few blind date successes that made those disappointing evenings worth it.

Ten years ago, a college friend’s British-born husband suggested I meet up with David, a friend of his who had just moved to the Big Apple. The chemistry between us was immediate. Over the course of a year and a half together, David would become my good guy benchmark, seeing me through the devastating loss of my mother and taking the grand gesture to a whole new level with roses by the hundred.

Parade of Roses: Five dozen of the twenty-five dozen (!) roses that my British beau David gave me for my 25th birthday, January 1999

In 2001, at the tail end of my year-long TV reporter stint in Southern Illinois, my neighbor’s daughter invited me to dinner with her stepson Steve. I ended up changing my return flight to New York three times, as Steve and I fell into one of the most passionate romances I’ve ever had. Our friendship endures to this day.

Michael and I are scheduled to meet for drinks sometime this week. Though It’s too soon to tell how this latest go round of blind date roulette will turn out, I’m just happy to be back in the game.

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November 18th, 2008 — 2:39pm
The other night, I heard from Michael, a guy that my friend and fellow travel PR maven/blogger wants to set me up with. As we chatted about our mutual appreciation for Latin dancing and NYC’s theater scene, I couldn’t help thinking about the unpredictability of blind dates – and some of the memorable setups I’ve experienced.

There’s been no shortage of blind dates that failed to ignite any sparks. Like the tête à tête with a 40-something businessman who scoffed at my decision to leave the world of TV news behind for a career in PR. Or the who kept me waiting for a half an hour then proceeded to talk only about himself.

For every lackluster matchmaking attempt, though, I’ve been fortunate enough to experience a few blind date successes that made those disappointing evenings worth it.

Ten years ago, a college friend’s British-born husband suggested I meet up with David, a friend of his who had just moved to the Big Apple. The chemistry between us was immediate. Over the course of a year and a half together, David would become my good guy benchmark, seeing me through the devastating loss of my mother and taking the grand gesture to a whole new level with roses by the hundred.

Parade of Roses: Five dozen of the twenty-five dozen (!) roses that my British beau David gave me for my 25th birthday, January 1999

In 2001, at the tail end of my year-long TV reporter stint in Southern Illinois, my neighbor’s daughter invited me to dinner with her stepson Steve. I ended up changing my return flight to New York three times, as Steve and I fell into one of the most passionate romances I’ve ever had. Our friendship endures to this day.

Michael and I are scheduled to meet for drinks sometime this week. Though It’s too soon to tell how this latest go round of blind date roulette will turn out, I’m just happy to be back in the game.

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November 15th, 2008 — 3:22am

Earlier this week, I caught up with fellow travel PR maven and blogger Lyla () over brunch at one of my favorite neighborhood bistros, Beach Café.

Beach Cafe: This Upper East Side bistro is one of my favorites

As I enjoyed a delicious egg-white omelette loaded with cheddar cheese and spinach, newlywedded Lyla and I talked about the camaraderie of the blogging community and the challenges of thirty-something singlehood in NYC. While musing about the latter, we found ourselves discussing a peculiar phenomenon — male reticence about becoming involved in the matchmaking process.

Sex And The City’s Charlotte once suggested that the single friends of married men are “the city’s greatest untapped resource.” Both Lyla and I have found quite the opposite to be true, largely because it seems men aren’t often likely to recommend any of their friends for a blind date.

In fact, whenever I’ve asked guys who are spoken for if they have any nice, single friends, the response is usually no. I can’t help wondering — is this really because they don’t have any normal peers or simply because they don’t want to get entangled in matching people up?

It’s a mystery that Lyla and I decided is worth exploring further. In the meantime, Lyla has promised to let me know if she encounters any eligible bachelors I might be interested in. Because when it comes to being on the prowl in the Big Apple, four eyes are always better than two.

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