January 6th, 2013 — 8:45pm
As I recently mentioned, I’ve already met one of my top New Year’s resolutions – taking down my online dating profile. When I shared this on Twitter, a fellow single gal responded—
“Internet dating does suck. But, what other choices are there for single moms, career women, 35+ women, etc?”
And therein lies one of the main reasons I’m going offline: online dating, even for those of us who aren’t lucky with it, perpetuates the false notion that it is the only avenue available to single women of a certain age. It deceives you into thinking that you’re putting yourself out there. But that’s like saying you’re actively job hunting simply by putting your resume on Monster.com.
It’s no secret that a successful job hunt requires networking and a variety of other offline activities – and I believe the same rule applies when you’re looking to meet someone special.
Many single women (myself included) here in New York – and elsewhere, from what I’ve experienced in my travels — gripe about how hard it is to meet good guys. But how can we really justify that complaint if we’re relying on the Internet alone to attempt matchmaking on our behalf? This is a city where there’s no end of culture, entertainment and activities in just about every category you can think of. I think sometimes the problem — and granted it’s a good problem to have – is figuring out where and how to dive into it all.
Which brings me to another reason why I’m no longer on OkCupid or any traditional online dating sites. Looking for love in cyberspace can be very unromantic and drain you of energy to mingle offline. I’m at the stage where I want to connect with people in a non-meat market environment. And I’m excited to explore the many opportunities my beloved hometown offers to do exactly that.
| meeting new people, new year's resolutions, online dating
March 8th, 2012 — 1:15pm
The other day, I found myself talking with a friend about what a small world it is – digitally and otherwise. It got me to thinking the whole six degrees (or less) rule has precipitated some of the most meaningful relationships in my life, past and present.
Triangular connections have played a big part in leading me to love over the years. Back in ’94, a close family friend happened to know a producer for the TV show NYPD Blue. That family friend made it possible for me and my sister to watch a shoot in NYC’s Tompkins Square Park, where I ended up meeting LA-based sound mixer . Longtime readers of this blog know the whirlwind odyssey that followed…
A few years later, mutual friends once again took on the role of Cupid. A college classmate of mine married Nick, a Brit whose good friend David moved to New York. Nick went out of his way to make sure David called me, and so began a year and a half romance that I still remember fondly.
In 2001, I was in post-breakup mode when I moved to Southern Illinois and was warmly welcomed by next door neighbor Katherine. Much like a surrogate grandmother, Katherine invited me to dinner with her family – which is where I met her stepgrandson Steve. Our connection was immediate and we remain good friends to this day.
Of course, now it only takes a few clicks on Facebook to be reminded that less than six degrees separates all of us today. And that you never know when one of those connections will generate a spark of the romantic variety.
| Facebook, falling in love, meeting new people, old flames
November 5th, 2011 — 10:39pm
When you work at a PR firm that represents wine and spirits clients, one of the perks is attending fantastic events. To help me get better acquainted with a category I don’t know much about, my friend and colleague Andrea invited me to join her at WhiskyFest.
Andrea and me at WhiskyFest
Held at NYC’s Marriott Marquis, the event features a selection of more than 325 whiskies from around the world. As we tasted a variety of different brands and nibbled a big spread of delicious food (risotto balls and braised beef bites were my favorites), I also noticed something else the event had plenty of – men.
As far as the eye could see, it was – to quote Andrea – a sausagefest. When you’re a single gal in New York, a city where women tend to outnumber men at most events, you can’t help appreciating the rare reverse scenario.
I thought about the dating experts I’ve encountered or read about who would laud WhiskyFest as being an ideal venue to go on the prowl. There was only one problem (other than the fact that I was kind of sort of in work mode) – I wasn’t in the mood.
Trying to meet new people is kind of like anything else, you can’t force it. And I think so much of the advice out there for singles tells us to go here, do that and basically twist yourself into a pretzel in search of a special connection.
It’s why I’ve heard both men and women alike in my hometown equate their single status to not “trying” hard enough. Whatever happened to the idea of just living your life, doing what you enjoy and trusting the right person will eventually be attracted by that?
Granted, at times it’s easier said than done. But when I look at most of the major relationships I’ve had, they all happened when I was either doing something I enjoyed or trying something new for myself. And whether that leads to romance or not, those are two pursuits we could all stand to do more of.
Just ask all the hundreds of men who attended WhiskyFest.
| Marriott Marquis, meeting new people, work-related events
May 30th, 2010 — 9:20pm
After being away for two months during my Great Dating Blitz, I’m rediscovering everything I love about New York — including how easy it is to connect with great people.
Cheers: (from left) Lori, Yoshiko and me grabbed a bite after our first bridesmaid dress fitting
This weekend, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting a handful of fantastic fellow New Yorkers, among them the other bridesmaids in my galpal Heidi’s upcoming wedding. We all clicked immediately, a happy reminder that you can never have too many girlfriends.
Up next…details on my action-packed weekend and a review of “Sex And The City 2.”
| being a bridesmaid, meeting new people, The Great Dating Blitz