Does Dating Online Make You More Disconnected?

As I recently mentioned, I’ve already met one of my top New Year’s resolutions – taking down my online dating profile. When I shared this on Twitter, a fellow single gal responded—

“Internet dating does suck. But, what other choices are there for single moms, career women, 35+ women, etc?”

And therein lies one of the main reasons I’m going offline: online dating, even for those of us who aren’t lucky with it, perpetuates the false notion that it is the only avenue available to single women of a certain age. It deceives you into thinking that you’re putting yourself out there. But that’s like saying you’re actively job hunting simply by putting your resume on

It’s no secret that a successful job hunt requires networking and a variety of other offline activities – and I believe the same rule applies when you’re looking to meet someone special.

Many single women (myself included) here in New York – and elsewhere, from what I’ve experienced in my travels — gripe about how hard it is to meet good guys. But how can we really justify that complaint if we’re relying on the Internet alone to attempt matchmaking on our behalf? This is a city where there’s no end of culture, entertainment and activities in just about every category you can think of. I think sometimes the problem — and granted it’s a good problem to have – is figuring out where and how to dive into it all.

Which brings me to another reason why I’m no longer on OkCupid or any traditional online dating sites. Looking for love in cyberspace can be very unromantic and drain you of energy to mingle offline. I’m at the stage where I want to connect with people in a non-meat market environment. And I’m excited to explore the many opportunities my beloved hometown offers to do exactly that.

Category: meeting new people, new year's resolutions, online dating 2 comments »

2 Responses to “Does Dating Online Make You More Disconnected?”

  1. Brainy Pint Sizer

    I’ve heard that online gets the conversation started. But then I also hear, once they meet in person, somethings weren’t as they seemed or appeared online — and sometimes even, not as they might have appeared by telephone. Yes, creating a persona online or by telephone is very easy. Sometimes, it is important to see people, speak face to face, see their body language, how they look at you, do they look you in the eyes? We have all gotten very comfortable relying on electronic modes of communication, perhaps too comfortable. Changing up when and where adds variety. Good for you! Get out there and mix and mingle, Single Gal NYC!

  2. Melissa

    Couldn’t agree more about the importance of face to face interaction. My recent return to speed dating confirmed how much better it is than mingling online!

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