It’s no secret that dating sometimes leads to moments of crossed signals and miscommunication. And then, there are those head scratching moments that make you go — huh? That’s exactly what happened after I connected with the guy who was supposed to be Nominate A Date bachelor #6.
A few weeks ago, we chatted on the phone. After lightheartedly poking fun at Nominate A Date, he tells me in an awestruck tone about the biggest surprise he’s encountered since moving to NYC from Florida – how much casual dating goes on here. His online dating inbox, he says, has been flooded with messages.
At one point, he asks me –
“So, are you waiting for someone to give you a glass slipper?”
Much as I admit to having Cinderella-sized hopes for finding love, something about this comment seemed a bit, well, not so Prince Charming-like.
With plans to get together the following weekend, Mr. Florida and I agree to reconnect in a few days. He gets in touch first to postpone our date because of a charitable commitment. I say ‘no problem’ and that I’ll follow up during the week via text to confirm. I do. Three days later, I receive this response:
“Hi I didn’t mean to blow you off, you seem very nice, but you all seem busy in your life. Manhattan is a busy place and you can easily be caught up in it. I sort of met someone and trying to see where it goes, I don’t serial date as they say.
Since I’ve been here, I’ve noticed a lot of single people and I’ve been asked out numerous times so I’m nothing special. I know I made a promise to you and I’m a sweet and nice guy and I never break my word. So blowing you off is not what I intended to do, I am just so busy as you are and I really don’t give most people the time of day. It’s just that I’m so tired of liars and people that just waste my time with nonsense.
I’ll meet with you at some point, just don’t want you to think I’m rude or anything. It’s just when I spoke to you on the phone it was very brief and then I didn’t hear from you after that for like four days so I figured you may have been interested in others.”
Whew. I was more than a little confounded by this explanation for ‘not’ blowing me off. Was I somehow at fault for not following up sooner after he postponed our date? Did he think I fell into the category of nonsense-peddling liars who he’s clearly had his fill of?
I quickly texted back to say best of luck with his new romance and leave it at that. Which prompted this:
“I am more honest than most and I don’t lie. I apologize for any inappropriate comments. I don’t date multiple people…I’m not in a relationship per say so I’m not off the market.”
Hmm. Sounds like he has a few things to figure out. Then again, I think when it comes to navigating the murky waters of thirtysomething dating, so do most of us.