Embracing The Roller Coaster

It’s often said that life is about the journey, not the destination. This weekend, I was reminded that the same can be said about dating – and that ups and downs are par for the (bumpy) course.

Saturday night, after two weeks of scheduling conflicts and phone tag, I finally met up with Connecticut-based bachelor M.

M chose the Beekman Hotel’s glorious Top of The Tower for our date, and made sure we were seated at an outdoor table with stunning city views. He was charming and sweet and the conversation for the most part flowed – except when he asked me one of my least favorite questions:

“What’s your experience been like on OkCupid?”

And so began a litany of his bad experiences, one which found me scratching my head for the umpteenth time over this line of small talk.

Why is it that so many guys want to discuss online dating? Isn’t the whole point of a first date to get to know each other, not compare notes about looking for love in cyberspace? If you met someone at a bar, would you devote 20 minutes to rating your best and worst pickup experiences there? Probably not, and yet for some unfathomable reason, this has been the rule rather than the exception with online bachelors.

That most unromantic line of conversation found me appreciating in a deeper way the more traditional communication I’ve been having with an old flame, Chris. After recently reconnecting (through Facebook, of course) for the first time in 14 years, Chris wrote me a beautiful letter describing what he hopes we might share now – and the places he wants to take me to his hometown. Inside the envelope, he also pressed a leaf as a symbol of the fall colors he’d love for us to take in together.

And just like that, I rediscovered that you never really know what can happen from one day to the next, be it a visit from your past or a new connection. It’s a roller coaster for sure. Here’s to learning again and again how to enjoy the ride.

Category: dating dos and don'ts, OKCupid, online dating, renewing old flames 2 comments »

2 Responses to “Embracing The Roller Coaster”

  1. Roxanne

    Yeah, you never know. Enjoyed the post.

  2. Lipstick and Playdates

    I had a horrible experience on OK Cupid, which I partly attribute to the fact that it’s free. However, I often find that a common conversation topic on first dates is dishing about previous dates met on the site. And I agree, I’m not sure if that’s healthy or wise. It’s a small, small dating world, after all.


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