The Problem With Expecting Too Little

When it comes to being a single thirtysomething woman, much has been said and written about having expectations that are too high. A recent conversation with a good friend found me wondering if just the opposite is true – are we becoming too permissive of bad behavior?

We live in a day and age where multi-tasking is the norm and having someone’s undivided attention is the exception rather than the rule. Not surprisingly, this has carried over to the dating realm too. My aforementioned galpal recently started seeing an attentive guy with whom she’s made the gradual transition from friends to something more.

“I can’t believe it – he never texts other people when we’re out together,” she told me with a mixture of shock and delight.

As she said this, it occurred to me this used to be the norm – and that there’s nothing wrong with still wanting or expecting it to be. 

For as much as we’re primed to believe otherwise, there are still people out there who believe in good manners and etiquette. I was happily reminded of this during a recent exchange with Long Island native Harrison.

My aunt and his mother thought Harrison and I could be a match. Within hours of emailing his mother, I received a thoughtful, engaging email from Harrison inviting me to call him. We talked for about a half an hour and he said he would be in touch. No endless back and forth (as is all too common in the online dating world) or phone tag – just swift, respectful communication that didn’t waste either of our time.

Behaving like a gentleman and acting like a lady are only outdated standards if we allow them to be.

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