Last weekend, I went to a birthday party for my cousin’s one year old son. As the only single person in a sea of married kin and their kids, I found myself experiencing the greatest misconception about being unattached.
It happened during a conversation with a married relative who also happens to be a new mom. We hadn’t seen each other in more than a year, so I excitedly filled her in on my two Dating Blitzes and landing a literary agent to represent my book chronicling the experience. Her response?
“Are you seeing anyone?”
The implication, of course, being that my relationship status is what matters more than anything else.
“Are you going out tonight?” she continued.
Assumption number two — that because it’s Saturday and I’m single, I must be heading out on the town.
What irked me about both questions is the underlying presumption that if you’re single, your primary preoccupation is to find a way not to be, that you can’t possibly be living a full, happy life without a significant other.
A good friend of mine made the valid point that, when you blog about your dating life, it inevitably invites questions on the subject. Understood. But I still maintain this line of interrogation is all too common from married or partnered up people — as though they can no longer appreciate what it means to be single and content.
Would I like to meet someone and a start a family? Of course. Do I spend my days dwelling on it or structuring my existence solely to make it happen? Absolutely not. I’m thankful for the many wonderful people and pursuits that enrich my life, for the adventures and opportunities flying solo affords me.
Those who’ve left singlehood behind would do well to remember that.