Rethinking The Rules

Much as I hate to admit it, I’ve always been a stickler for certain rules when it comes to dating. Having been raised by two strong, smart parents who were madly in love with each other, I’ve inevitably found myself trying to emulate the high romantic standard they set – and to spare myself any needless heartbreak along the way. 

Enter these so-called rules, designed as a self-defense mechanism to gauge whether to take a chance with someone. One of the more traditional (or, I suppose, antiquated depending on your point of view) ones is the notion that, when you first start dating a guy, all of the initiative taking should come from him. 

After all, we’re taught to believe that when a man is interested, that’s what he does. And, in a city like New York where you feel like expressing interest yourself could be the tipping point that turns someone off, you tend to second guess what is really just common sense. Say, for example, picking up the phone. 

Radio silence after a first date usually means there’s no spark. But what does it mean after you’ve been on three amazing and (what feels like) mutually enjoyable dates? According to my wise brother and sister in law, it doesn’t necessarily indicate a loss of interest. It could simply mean that the guy, having demonstrated plenty of initiative, wants (understandably) some reciprocity. 

So, I went out on a limb and gave said guy a call. Surprise, surprise, we managed to pick up right where we left off. And I realized that, instead of standing on ceremony about who calls who, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and put yourself out there.

 Yep, good old common sense. No better rule to follow than that.

Category: dating rules One comment »

One Response to “Rethinking The Rules”

  1. beth grossman

    so happy for you!!! hope you have a nice val day date!!!


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