Category: JDate.com


The Misplaced Art of Dating Etiquette

April 4th, 2011 — 8:51pm

Saturday, I caught up with my good friend and fellow single gal B. Over a delicious brunch at Bistro 61 on NYC’s Upper East Side, B and I got to talking about dating etiquette — and how it seems to be an increasingly lost art these days.

Case in point — the Jdate guy who B has gone out with twice. After their first date, he suggested multiple times they get together at his place so he could demonstrate his massage prowess (clearly a popular line among online bachelors, as an OkCupid member recently suggested likewise to me at the end of our first date). When B declined, he said his only free time would be following a work-related dinner — and then proceeded to be more than an hour late in showing up.

During a dinner date this weekend with an online guy, I was reminded that men too are dealing with strange behavior. My date told me he’s gone out with multiple women who’ve expected him to send (and pay for) a car service to pick them up. When I insisted on paying for the movies, he told me that was a first for him.

I was floored. For as much as I’m a believer in traditional mores when it comes to who pays on a first and second date, I also think it’s bad manners not to reciprocate. Whatever happened to putting your best foot forward when you’re getting to know someone? Has online dating reached a point where people don’t think twice about being inconsiderate of people’s time or money?

Despite what he’s experienced, my date would beg to differ. He couldn’t have been more of a gentleman — and an inspiring example of dating with class regardless of how many times you’ve experienced those who choose not to.

5 comments » | dating dos and don'ts, JDate.com, OKCupid, online dating, Upper East Side

Saying Yes To OkCupid.com

July 6th, 2010 — 6:15pm

Yesterday, I kicked off the week by doing something new online and becoming a member of OkCupid.com.

It’s no surprise that OkCupid is one of the fastest growing dating websites. In addition to being free, the site seems to attract a greater variety of singles with wit and personality than Match.com or JDate.

And instead of standard resume-type profile questions, OkCupid asks you to reveal, for example, the six things you never do without and what people usually notice about you first. I’ve already connected with an adorable writer and a free-spirited Russian who shares my passion for travel.

I’ve also heard from a few OkCupid members who skipped over the part of my profile saying I’m not interested solely in indoor activities. Dominant Writer, whose profile photo is of a knotted rope, talks about being involved in the arts — and BDSM.

“I view the whole sub/dom thing as something done playfully, and with affection. By its nature, it can be sometimes intense, but that doesn’t mean it can’t also be safe and sane. To me, it opens the doors of creativity,” he writes.

Then there’s Strange Sounds. His primary photo is a close up of, well, his nether regions, and his entire profile is decidedly one-dimensional. Some highlights:

I’m really good at: A number of things, most of which are best demonstrated in person.
The six things I could never do without: I have to be honest, I would go mad without some form of daily sexual release.

Talk about TMI.

1 comment » | JDate.com, Match.com, OKCupid, online dating, online dating profiles

Girls Night Out: Cesca

December 10th, 2009 — 10:30pm

Monday, I headed to Cesca restaurant on NYC’s Upper West Side for a girls night out with my new friend Sherri, founder of SingleEdition.com.

Cesca: Delicious Italian fare in an upscale, intimate setting
Sherri and I connected a couple of months ago through our respective work in cyberspace and hit it off immediately after meeting at SingleEdition.com’s Live The Life You Love events.

Over a delicious dinner – during which Sherri introduced me to the unexpected delight of fried brussel sprouts – we talked about work, life and love.

Among the topics of our three-hour chat – the impact of having happily married parents and the challenge of finding commitment-minded men in NYC. Sherri met her Jersey-bred hubby on JDate.com. Though I’m officially over and done with online dating, I think it might be time for me to explore the bridge and tunnel crowd a little more closely.

If you’re looking tips and inspiration for living your best single life, head on over to SingleEdition.com. While you’re there, check out the site’s Just for One Holiday Gift Guide. It’s the perfect place to find something fabulous for your single friends, or even for yourself.

Comment » | Cesca restaurant, Girls Night Out, JDate.com, Live The Life You Love, SingleEdition.com, Upper West Side

Girls Night Out: Cesca

December 10th, 2009 — 5:30pm

Monday, I headed to Cesca restaurant on NYC’s Upper West Side for a girls night out with my new friend Sherri, founder of SingleEdition.com.

Cesca: Delicious Italian fare in an upscale, intimate setting
Sherri and I connected a couple of months ago through our respective work in cyberspace and hit it off immediately after meeting at SingleEdition.com’s Live The Life You Love events.

Over a delicious dinner – during which Sherri introduced me to the unexpected delight of fried brussel sprouts – we talked about work, life and love.

Among the topics of our three-hour chat – the impact of having happily married parents and the challenge of finding commitment-minded men in NYC. Sherri met her Jersey-bred hubby on JDate.com. Though I’m officially over and done with online dating, I think it might be time for me to explore the bridge and tunnel crowd a little more closely.

If you’re looking tips and inspiration for living your best single life, head on over to SingleEdition.com. While you’re there, check out the site’s Just for One Holiday Gift Guide. It’s the perfect place to find something fabulous for your single friends, or even for yourself.

Comment » | Cesca restaurant, Girls Night Out, JDate.com, Live The Life You Love, SingleEdition.com, Upper West Side

Dinner With An Online Dating Trailblazer

November 23rd, 2009 — 5:30pm

Wednesday, I headed over to Tenzan restaurant in Midtown for dinner with Dating Revolution founder and CEO Ross Felix.

Tenzan: The Midtown outpost of this Upper West Side eatery offers swift service & tasty sushi
Over a delicious selection of sushi rolls, we talked about the highs and lows of online dating, and being single in New York.

Whether it’s following certain rules or throwing out the playbook altogether, many Gotham singles seem to think there’s a strategy that has to be followed when it comes to making a lasting connection. Ross and I both agreed that common sense and putting yourself out there are the most important keys to dating success.

A JDate.com success story, Ross — with the support and creative input of his fiancée – is breathing new life into the Internet dating space. Currently in beta testing mode, Dating Revolution will offer a number of safeguards and tools that Match.com and other existing sites don’t.

Dating Revolution will solicit member feedback to help enforce dater honesty, while color coded searching will make it easier to find matches faster. And you can also maximize opportunities for connecting by joining niche communities within the site specific to religion, hobbies, etc.

For a limited time, membership to the site is free. Click here to find out more.

Comment » | JDate.com, Match.com, Midtown NYC, online dating, Ross Felix, sushi, Tenzan, The Dating Revolution

The Small World Of Online Dating

October 28th, 2009 — 5:08pm


When you live in a city where single women outnumber their male counterparts by 200,000, it often feels like the universe of available men is a finite one – especially the universe of online dating.

After posting a recap about the singles party that I recently hosted, I heard from a reader who was curious about one of my guests — JDate.com member and radiologist Jacques, whom I went out with once last spring. It turns out that, six years ago, she also dated Jacques briefly after meeting on a singles trip.

My friend Andrea had her own experience of what a small dating world cyberspace can be. During a night out in Central Park, she ended up sitting next to three girls talking about dating. She overhears one of the ladies mention by name a Match.com guy that Andrea herself had gone out with a few times the month before.

“I just start laughing hysterically,” Andrea says. “She had the same thoughts about him as I did. I so wanted to tell her to go with her gut, but I kept my mouth shut.”

The longer you’re part of the online dating marketplace, the more you find yourself running into the same cast of characters. I’m hoping there won’t be any familiar faces when I make my long-awaited return to speed dating tonight.

The one significant other that I met through speed dating tied the knot last weekend. As I do all of my other exes — well, most of them anyway – I wish him all the best. Even though it means the pool of old flames whom I can beat to the altar is almost officially dry.

Rationally speaking, I know it shouldn’t be a competition. But, to paraphrase something Sex And The City’s Samantha once said, there’s always a competition with your ex. What’s rational thinking got to do with it?

4 comments » | being single in New York, JDate.com, Match.com, online dating, Samantha Jones, Sex and The City, speed dating

Singles Soirée At My Place

October 23rd, 2009 — 4:04pm

Last weekend, I hosted a little singles party at my place.

The last time I threw a singles gathering, an ex’s best friend ended up naked uninvited in my bed. Thankfully, Friday’s event didn’t lead to any similar exhibitionist displays – unless you count a faux marriage proposal induced by a little too much wine (see below).

About 15 people attended my soirée, a perfectly co-ed combination of friends and friends of friends, including charming radiologist Jacques. Jacques and I met through JDate.com and went out on a date last spring.

Since romance wasn’t in the cards for us, we opted to stay in touch. He brought two charming, adorable male friends who added to the convivial vibe.

J-Schoolers Unite: Carl, Eddie and me at my singles soiree

Fellow Columbia j-school alums Eddie and Carl talked about their exciting new online venture, while galpal Andrea shared some of the wild tales which inspired her to start her new blog. Even as a diehard New Yorker who adores her hometown, I have to admit her “so over it” stories are hilarious.

As the evening unfolded, a wine connoisseur pal was openly curious about who had brought a particular great vintage from Spain. Eventually, the mystery buyer was revealed to be my good friend Leila, which prompted Mr. Oenophile to get down on one knee and ask in jest for her hand.

Though — this amusing moment notwithstanding — no love connections were made, the party was a delightful affair. And a fun reminder that, in a city as big as New York, it’s often easier to expand your social circle when the crowd is a small one.

Comment » | Columbia University, JDate.com, journalism school, online startups, singles events, singles parties, wine lovers

Singles Soirée At My Place

October 23rd, 2009 — 11:04am

Last weekend, I hosted a little singles party at my place.

The last time I threw a singles gathering, an ex’s best friend ended up naked uninvited in my bed. Thankfully, Friday’s event didn’t lead to any similar exhibitionist displays – unless you count a faux marriage proposal induced by a little too much wine (see below).

About 15 people attended my soirée, a perfectly co-ed combination of friends and friends of friends, including charming radiologist Jacques. Jacques and I met through JDate.com and went out on a date last spring.

Since romance wasn’t in the cards for us, we opted to stay in touch. He brought two charming, adorable male friends who added to the convivial vibe.

J-Schoolers Unite: Carl, Eddie and me at my singles soiree

Fellow Columbia j-school alums Eddie and Carl talked about their exciting new online venture, while galpal Andrea shared some of the wild tales which inspired her to start her new blog. Even as a diehard New Yorker who adores her hometown, I have to admit her “so over it” stories are hilarious.

As the evening unfolded, a wine connoisseur pal was openly curious about who had brought a particular great vintage from Spain. Eventually, the mystery buyer was revealed to be my good friend Leila, which prompted Mr. Oenophile to get down on one knee and ask in jest for her hand.

Though — this amusing moment notwithstanding — no love connections were made, the party was a delightful affair. And a fun reminder that, in a city as big as New York, it’s often easier to expand your social circle when the crowd is a small one.

Comment » | Columbia University, JDate.com, journalism school, online startups, singles events, singles parties, wine lovers

When He Doesn’t Take The Hint

October 20th, 2009 — 9:53pm


It’s great when a man takes some initiative about pursuing you. It’s decidedly less appealing, though, when you’re not interested – a fact of which I was reminded recently with two different guys.

First, there was JDate.com member Scott. Prior to our long-delayed second date, I communicated very clearly that I’m not a fan of last-minute plans. After date #2, I received the following text message from him:

“Hey cutie, want to watch a football game tonight at ur place free massage included and btw I’m the best! Xo”

Turned off by his forwardness (not to mention bad grammar), I declined Scott’s invitation. The next day, he followed up with—

“Football tonight? And a spa massage xo”

Equally persistent was the New Jersey resident whom I politely but firmly told by email that I had no romantic feelings for. He said he would like to remain friends, so I invited him to my recent singles party.

He proceeded to suggest (multiple times) that I come to his hometown — 2 hours from NYC — so that we could work out together. At the party, I was happily flirting with another guy when Mr. New Jersey sauntered over. He put his arm around me and exclaimed—

“I think you’re just the bomb!”

Talk about a conversation killer. Though Mr. NJ nixed my opportunity with the other guy, he managed to teach me a valuable lesson – when a guy doesn’t seem to be taking the hint that you’re not into him, leave him off of your guest list.

Coming up…a first date raises a big question and a charitable night out with Whoopi Goldberg.

Comment » | handling rejection, JDate.com, online dating, rejected advances from a guy, singles parties, text messaging, Whoopi Goldberg

When He Doesn’t Take The Hint

October 20th, 2009 — 4:53pm


It’s great when a man takes some initiative about pursuing you. It’s decidedly less appealing, though, when you’re not interested – a fact of which I was reminded recently with two different guys.

First, there was JDate.com member Scott. Prior to our long-delayed second date, I communicated very clearly that I’m not a fan of last-minute plans. After date #2, I received the following text message from him:

“Hey cutie, want to watch a football game tonight at ur place free massage included and btw I’m the best! Xo”

Turned off by his forwardness (not to mention bad grammar), I declined Scott’s invitation. The next day, he followed up with—

“Football tonight? And a spa massage xo”

Equally persistent was the New Jersey resident whom I politely but firmly told by email that I had no romantic feelings for. He said he would like to remain friends, so I invited him to my recent singles party.

He proceeded to suggest (multiple times) that I come to his hometown — 2 hours from NYC — so that we could work out together. At the party, I was happily flirting with another guy when Mr. New Jersey sauntered over. He put his arm around me and exclaimed—

“I think you’re just the bomb!”

Talk about a conversation killer. Though Mr. NJ nixed my opportunity with the other guy, he managed to teach me a valuable lesson – when a guy doesn’t seem to be taking the hint that you’re not into him, leave him off of your guest list.

Coming up…a first date raises a big question and a charitable night out with Whoopi Goldberg.

Comment » | handling rejection, JDate.com, online dating, rejected advances from a guy, singles parties, text messaging, Whoopi Goldberg

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