Category: dating optimism

January 1st, 2014 — 6:37pm

A colleague of mine recently shared the following quote about the promise of a new year–

“Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.”

As I embrace the renewed sense of hope and purpose that accompanies turning the calendar page, I can’t help thinking about everything I learned in 2013. The final year of my thirties brought many epiphanies both great and small.

I learned why there are so many horror stories about home renovation projects. The upgrade of my tiny galley took two contractors and six months longer to complete than expected. Like most endeavors in life, though, the trials were worth the triumph of what awaited me at the end—in this case, a more inviting, updated space in which to do the cooking I’ve come to enjoy so much.

This was also a year in which I learned the power of letting go, especially when it comes to old wounds and festering grudges. After a lengthy estrangement with someone who hurt me very deeply, I extended the olive branch of forgiveness. I immediately felt a huge emotional weight lifted, leaving room for healing and reconciliation in its place.

Of course, no reflection on the 12 months just passed would be complete without a look back at the ups and downs of being a single gal in the city. After a relatively quiet 2012, 2013 was a year in which I really made the effort to put myself out there again. And that brought a string of and romantic disappointments – the cumulative effect of which I didn’t realize until someone very special came along.

Over the last couple of months, this person taught me that there’s a big difference between being cautious and expecting the worst. And even when I continually engaged in the latter, he responded unconditionally, calling me out on my behavior while never holding it against me.

This week, he leaves the country to return to his hometown. I am a better person for having known him. He reminded me that the imprint someone leaves on your life has nothing to do with the duration they’re in it. And that when it comes to matters of the heart, taking a leap of faith is always a good thing.

Here’s to leaping forward on all fronts in 2014. Happy New Year!

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May 26th, 2013 — 8:44pm

It’s been another eventful week for me as I continue settling in to my expanded role as Marketing Manager for two hotels. Two video shoots and an all-day event at Grand Central Terminal were on the agenda, along with the first meeting with my new boss at the Westin.

Me and P. Diddy’s doppelganger: Alongside the celeb’s Madame Tussaud’s likeness during Grand Getaway day at GCT

During our get to know each other conversation, my boss and I ended up talking briefly about the winding road to settling down. She shared her experience of becoming a mother at 38 and then again at 44, and asked me about my marital status.

Practicing what I’ve been preaching lately about the powers of dating optimism (as discovered ), I declared that I’m single and hopeful about finding love. She quickly confided that she knows a 43-year-old bachelor who just happens to be looking for someone special.

I smiled, assuring her that I have no-fault matchmaking clause. As we both laughed, I couldn’t help thinking once again about the power of positive thinking. It’s easy to forget in the sea of noncommitment and cynicism that defines so much of dating in New York. But once you open your eyes to what exists beyond this crowded cityscape, you discover there is a lot to be positive about.

As my perspective has gradually shifted. I’ve noticed a new kind of momentum in my love life.  I feel energized, discovering that being open to the right relationship doesn’t mean exhausting yourself to find it.  Being happy and sure footed in your own life opens doors that remain firmly closed when you don’t allow yourself to dream big.

And really, isn’t dreaming big what life and love are all about?

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