October 7th, 2012 — 8:14pm
Earlier this week, I enjoyed a girls night out with my good friend Faith. It had been a few months since we last got together, so there was plenty for us to catch up on.
Hudson Place is a great Midtown bistro (Photo Courtesy: HudsonPlaceNYC.com)
While enjoying a delicious dinner at Hudson Place in Midtown East, we talked about relationship turning point, our exciting new jobs and balancing work with time for fun and romance.
I couldn’t help thinking how time has just raced by since I started at the Westin New York Grand Central a month ago. It’s been an exhilarating start to an exciting new chapter of my career. With that, though, I’ve come to realize how easy it is to use work as an excuse for not prioritizing effectively.
Prior to joining the Westin in September, I allowed being unhappy job-wise to be justification for a hiatus from dating. The thing is, it’s all too easy to continue that I’m-too-busy mindset and not carve out any time to meet new people. Dating fatigue seems to grow exponentially when you’re out of the game for awhile.
Which is one of many reasons why it’s so important to have girlfriends like Faith. Faith makes every night out an event and loves to play matchmaker. She suggested we make girls nights a bi-weekly occurrence. Sign me up.
| dating fatigue, Girls Night Out, Midtown NYC, new jobs
December 23rd, 2011 — 8:29pm
When it comes to the holiday season, the part I most look forward to is New Year’s. There’s something about the turning of the calendar page that makes me feel like it’s a chance to start fresh. Which is why, yes, I’m one of those people — the kind who make new year’s resolutions.
For 2012, along with the cliched goals of decluttering and losing a few pounds, I’ve added a new motto to the top of my list — just say yes.
As I’ve mentioned here a few times, 2011 has marked a period of, well, doing mostly the opposite. Taking comfort in what’s familiar and taking a much needed breather from New York’s challenging dating scene.
The thing about a break like this is that it can very easily become less of a hiatus and more of a long-term sabbatical. After all, when you live in Gotham, there’s no shortage of diversions to fill your time with that have absolutely nothing to do with finding love.
I’ve quite happily spent the last several months doing those things exclusively, concentrating on friends, family and the more predictable fun that goes along with flying solo. Now, it’s time to dust off my Single Gal In The City shoes and just say yes.
Last year, when I was interviewed by Gayle King, she said Joan Rivers once told her to say yes to everything when you’re single – party invites, new activities, whatever it might be that could connect you with different people. I think there’s something to this, not just for the sake of potential romance but because that’s how you keep yourself open to new adventures in life.
Looking back on most of the greatest adventures I’ve been fortunate enough to have, they all started with one simple question – why not? I’m looking forward to renewing that approach in 2012 and seeing where it takes me.
Happy holidays everyone!
| dating fatigue, Gayle King, new year's goals, new year's resolutions
November 26th, 2011 — 4:30pm
Thanksgiving may be over but I find myself still thinking about what I’m thankful for – and feeling hopeful that this holiday season will bring a gift that’s been eluding me for awhile now.
Every year, I count my amazing family and friends at the top of my blessings lists and this year is no different. In the absence of my beloved parents – whose loss I continue to feel acutely – I know I am doubly fortunate to have so many wonderful people to count among my nearest and dearest.
I’m just back from spending the holiday in Delaware with my brother and sister-in-law, whose love, warmth and understanding make every occasion together one worthy of celebration. Tonight, I will trim my tree with galpal Faith, the kind of friend who makes good times better and difficult times more bearable. Tomorrow, I will head to New Jersey to visit my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Johnny, two of the most kind and generous souls you could ever know.
Yes, when it comes to loved ones, I can say I have an embarrassment of riches. Their support and encouragement are what make me optimistic that I can give myself a gift as 2011 winds down – getting back in the proverbial saddle again.
Readers of this blog know I’ve spent much of this year on sabbatical from dating (a few half-hearted forays into OkCupid notwithstanding). It was a break that I needed, one that gave me the opportunity to reconnect with myself and concentrate on the many pursuits that fill my life. Now it’s time to take my own advice and get out of my comfort zone – i.e., take dating off the back burner.
With less than two months until my 38th birthday, I can’t deny I’m more than a little weary of this merry go round. But I know that’s no longer a good enough reason to sit on the sidelines anymore. So, I am bidding a not-so-fond farewell to OkCupid and all of its grammatically challenged, disappear act pulling members and saying hello to new adventures of the offline kind. Here’s to a holiday season and 2012 full of them.
| dating fatigue, dating in your thirties, OKCupid, Thanksgiving
April 8th, 2011 — 4:43pm
It’s no secret that being single and searching often feels like a job — a job that, like any other, demands more than you want it to at times. As I continue my journey of being unattached and thirtysomething, I find my desire to be done with the singles merry go round inducing a serious case of dating fatigue.
Partnered up people and self-help books are fond of saying that dating is about the journey, not the destination. But what happens when you feel like you’ve taken the same trip over and over again and just want a change of scenery?
Two good friends of mine are embarking on new horizons in their singledom, making their first forays into online dating and speed dating respectively. Being a longtime believer in putting yourself out there, I’m excited for them. But for me, both avenues now provoke a been-there-done-that response. I’m simply over the entire process.
On the bright side, New York is a place where even dating fatigue can’t slow you down for too long. This Saturday, I’m off to try a singles Meetup.com group for the first time. You never know, right?
| dating fatigue, dating in your thirties