May 3rd, 2011 — 5:22pm
This morning, I had the pleasure of starting my day with an appearance on The Gayle King Show.
Since my segment was later in the program, I had plenty of time to chat with makeup artist and salon owner Vinnetta Scrivo. As she worked her magic to make me camera ready, we talked about dating in her Michigan hometown — and about the impact of beauty and style choices on dating success. Pick up a copy of this month’s Marie Claire to read about the fascinating experiment she and her stylist sibling did on this very subject.
Makeup artist extraordinaire Vinnetta Scrivo
While I was in the greenroom, I had the pleasure of meeting Tamar Braxton, sister of Toni and co-star of Braxton Family Values on WE TV. In addition to being tall and gorgeous, she was an absolute sweetheart. Charisma definitely runs in the Braxton family.
Singer and WEtv star Tamar Braxton and me
Also on the show today was fellow blogger and author Neil Parischa, promoting A native of Toronto — my home for four years as a teenager — Neil is deservedly popular for his ability to celebrate life’s little joys. We could all use more of that, so head on over to his award-winning site.
Finally, it was time for me to join Gayle on set. She and her fabulous team managed to convince me to do something I never have before on camera — go sleeveless. When you don’t have arms like the First Lady, this definitely qualifies as going out of your comfort zone.
Speaking of which, Gayle and I talked about what I learned from my two dating blitzes last year. We both agreed on the importance of being open and taking the good from each relationship.
If you missed it, you can catch a replay of our conversation tonight at 10pm EST on Sirius 195/XM 156 or tomorrow at 5am EST on OWN.
| Gayle King, The Great Dating Blitz
May 1st, 2011 — 1:14pm
One of the highlights of my Great Dating Blitz last year was . Which is why I am beyond thrilled that I’ll be making my second appearance on the show on Tuesday!
Gayle King in her studio, where I'll be joining her live on Tuesday May 3rd
I’ll be chatting with Gayle about, of course, dating and relationships – from what I learned during my travels to the royal wedding. I think Gayle is one of the smartest and most insightful women around, and I can’t wait to chat with her again.
Tune in Tuesday at 10am EST on XM 156/SIRIUS 195 or watch OWN (the Oprah Winfrey Network), which now simulcasts The Gayle King Show’s second hour.
| Gayle King, The Great Dating Blitz
April 2nd, 2011 — 3:37pm
There are some first dates that you always remember — and yet, never expect to hear from again. The very first bachelor of my US Dating Blitz last year, Dave, fell into this category.
As I described here when Dave and I met up after connecting on Match.com, he took me out for a great night in Cleveland — five-star meal, first-class conversation, post-dinner smooching. Then he shocked me with his question about whether I like to, ahem, have my salad tossed.
After our date, Dave sent me a couple of racy text messages to which I didn’t respond. So imagine my surprise when he resurfaced in a text last week.
“Was I your most fun date on your tour around the country?”
I laughed, tempted to thank him for providing me a with first date story I never tire of telling. He had another question for me–
“Did I make the book?”
I had told Dave when we went out that I would be writing a book about my adventures. Funnily enough, it never occurred to me that his x-rated inquiry might have been prompted by that. So does he or does he not have a derriere fixation? Dave offered me the chance to find out.
“If you’re ever back here in Cleveland, you know my door is open and I’ll take good care of you :),” he texted.
It would almost be worth making the trip just to see what he might ask on date #2.
| first date ettiquette, first dates, Match.com, online dating, The Great Dating Blitz
December 12th, 2010 — 1:59pm
Thursday, I met up with JP, a Twitter follower of mine and Alabama-based thirtysomething married dad of three. JP had read about my Dating Blitz across the US this spring and offered to share his take on finding love.
The Bar Room: JP and I met up at this lively Midtown spot in NYC’s Museum of Modern Art
Over drinks at MoMa, JP admitted he was a moderate serial monogamist before settling down at the age of 28. Once he felt ready for marriage, he was single minded about it.
“I wouldn’t go out with someone because I was looking for the right person and decided they couldn’t be the one,” he said.
If he could go back and talk to his single self, JP says he would tell him to give people a chance and not rush into labeling someone as not a match. He also recommends doing activities without the intent of making a connection — but being always remaining open to it happening.
We talked a lot about first dates. I mentioned my disdain for “what do you do?” being the default go-to question. JP suggests asking something unexpected instead. For example–
“If you could do anything you want for a living that’s the complete opposite of what you do now, what would it be?”
Now 36, JP has learned how important communication and true partnership are to making a marriage work. As a lawyer, he says it would be easy for him to go into cross-examination mode during an argument — but he doesn’t because a committed relationship deserves better than that. It also requires being giving up a certain amount of independence for the sake of building something together.
Along with sharing his insights about love, JP told me that most of his friends are married — happily so. I couldn’t help thinking about something which came up time and again on my Dating Blitz journey, that people outside of New York are generally wired to leave singlehood behind much sooner than they do here. Which is one big reason why 2011 could be the year I leave Gotham behind for somewhere else.
| Midtown NYC, moving out of your hometown, The Great Dating Blitz, Twitter
November 30th, 2010 — 4:30pm
- (photo courtesy: KimWeston.com)
Last week, I had the pleasure of connecting with Kim Kuhteubl, founder of the fabulous website Single Woman TV. A native of Toronto (my former hometown) now living in the LA area, Kim got me to thinking about something a Single Gal In The City reader recently asked — would I leave New York to look for love?
Longtime readers of this blog know it’s a question I’ve been considering for quite awhile now. It’s what sparked my decision to go on two Dating Blitzes and examine what dating is like outside of New York. Though the women I met in other cities confirmed that finding love is tough these days in any zip code, they — along with most of the men I dated — also revealed something else. That when it comes to settling down, the odds are at least a little better if you reside in a place where being single isn’t considered the end all be all.
As I’ve said many times since returning from my travels, the best thing about being unattached in New York is also the worst — the absence of any pressure to find a long-term relationship. That laissez-faire attitude is ideal if you are happy to be your one and only. Those of us who feel differently, though, are made to wonder if it’s wrong to want more than the single and fabulous life. And if we would be more likely to find it somewhere other than the Big Apple.
So, yes, I’m haven’t ruled out an exodus from NYC for a dating change of pace. I’ll see what 2011 has in store for me and then revisit the idea. Who knows? Maybe I’ll end up as a resident of one of my Dating Blitz destinations.
If you could move anywhere — to shake up your love life or for any other reason — where would it be?
| moving for love, Single Gal In The City, The European Dating Blitz, The Great Dating Blitz
October 17th, 2010 — 2:41pm
Friday night, I had the pleasure of catching up with Anson, one of the bachelors from my US Dating Blitz.
Smart, funny and adorable, Anson was by far the best date of my two-month adventure. He showed me a great time while I was in Houston, so I was excited for the opportunity to reciprocate.
Petrarca: Anson and I enjoyed a sublime dinner at this Tribeca bistro (photo courtesy: Petrarca Cucino E Vino)
We met up in Tribeca at Italian bistro and wine bar Petrarca Cucino E Vino. Over a delicious dinner (creamless cauliflower soup and chicken with chanterelle mushrooms for me), Anson and I talked about my recent travels to Europe, his action-packed week in NYC and our mutual affection for karaoke and “The Goonies.” As it did during our first date, conversation just flowed and I found myself appreciating all over again how easy Anson is to talk to.
Voyage: Tribute bands don’t get any better than this
Our next stop — my favorite club, Canal Room. Taking to the stage were Bon Jovi tribute band Bon Jersey and Journey cover band Voyage. Though Bon Jersey rocked it (especially on “Dead or Alive” and “Livin On A Prayer“), there was no question the night belonged to Voyage. Lead singer and Steve Perry doppelganger Hugo had the entire crowd cheering as he belted out hits like “Faithfully” and “Oh Sherry” and, of course, “Don’t Stop Believin’” and “Anyway You Want It.”
Thanks to the generosity of Canal Room’s music promoter, Anson and I got to enjoy Voyage from the VIP seating area. After the show was over, we stuck around for the DJ and danced until 2am. I didn’t want the night to end.
Reconnecting with Anson was a wonderful reminder that good guys do exist. Bachelors here in the Big Apple would do well to import some Texan charm.
| Bon Jovi, Canal Room, The Great Dating Blitz
August 14th, 2010 — 4:40pm
Yesterday, I enjoyed a girls night out for the opening of “Eat, Pray, Love.”
Girls Night At The Movies: me with (from left) galpals Lori, Crystal and Sara
Though the movie inevitably glosses over parts of Liz Gilbert’s bestselling memoir, it still satisfies on many levels. Julia Roberts (Liz) knocks it out of the park and all of her co-stars deliver equally memorable performances — especially Javier Bardem (Felipe), who has never been more irresistible. He and Julia have great on-screen chemistry.
Eat Pray Love: Julia Roberts in Rome, one of my European Dating Blitz destinations
Much like the book, of course, the movie is a love letter to the three destinations that Liz visits on her year-long journey of self discovery — Italy, India and Indonesia. Sweeping shots of Rome made me excited all over again that it will part of my European Dating Blitz. But when the movie heads to Bali for its romantic conclusion, I couldn’t help feeling a little wistful. Nostalgic about my own memorable visit to the lush island paradise and yet, unnerved that I’m still a solo traveler.
It’s been eight and half years since I went to Bali, experiencing most of what you’ll see in the film — waking up on a four-poster bed overlooking rice paddy fields, meeting warm and wise Balinese locals and taking in unforgettable sunsets. I remember telling myself then that I would someday return to Bali with Mr. Right in tow. I never imagined finding him would be so difficult.
As my overseas adventure draws near, I find myself encountering all of these reminders that I’m still single.
Upon receiving my new passport in the mail, I recalled being so certain the last time it expired — ten years ago — that I would be married when I renewed it. After accidentally hitting a ringtone on my cell phone I hadn’t heard since my first dating blitz, I thought of how hopeful I was that trip would lead to happily ever after. Strange how the most random little things can make you think about the big things you’re missing.
Last night, my good friend Sara said I seemed calm and serene about my European blitz. That’s probably because I’m approaching this one with fewer expectations romantically speaking and more of a sense of adventure. It doesn’t hurt that, this time around, I have some transcendent meals to look forward to. Thanks to Julia Roberts, I’m already dreaming about gelato and pizza.
| Bali, Eat Pray Love, Girls Night Out, The European Dating Blitz, The Great Dating Blitz, travel
July 31st, 2010 — 8:06pm
(photo courtesy: Getty Images)
The other day, I heard from one of the many fabulous single gals I met during my Great Dating Blitz. She shared the good news that she’s met someone special on Match.com.
“I had zero expectations from Match,” she said in an email. “Maybe it really does happen when you least expect it. The best part is that we were both single, happy, social, busy people, who loved our lives but both felt like we could just be a little happier. And then we found each other.”
Jen’s words got me to thinking how being happy with and by yourself is an important prerequisite to meeting your mate — a perspective beautifully articulated in British author Roy Sheppard’s forthcoming book, How To Be The One.
Much like getting in good physical shape, Roy says being relationship ready is a matter of strengthening your emotional core. Be the type of partner you want to attract.
“Being a first class person,” he writes, “for the one can only happen if you have made an investment in being a first class person for yourself.”
Well said. Stay tuned for more of Roy’s insights when I meet up with him in London during my European Dating Blitz!
| dating advice, Match.com, online dating, The European Dating Blitz, The Great Dating Blitz
July 26th, 2010 — 9:24pm
I recently heard from a single SGITC reader and newcomer to NYC. She told me that she’s finding that men fall into one of two categories–
“They’re either really hesitant to talk about commitment/marriage or they’re on a wife hunt – which I’m also finding to be the case for people I meet online.”
Her email got me to thinking about the idea of the happy medium, more specifically about Mr. Right Now. As I inch closer to 37 without marriage or motherhood on the horizon, I can’t help thinking he’s worth revisiting.
There’s a lot to be said for freeing yourself from the question of “Is he the one?” That question hung over me during my Great Dating Blitz and ill-fated romance along the way — and prevented me from fully living in the moment. It’s a mistake I don’t intend to repeat when I embark on the European leg of this adventure three weeks from today.
Between now and then, I’ll be celebrating milestones of two good friends, hosting a bridal shower for one and attending a baby shower for another. Both of them have given me hope that, whenever the timing is finally right, those occasions will happen for me too. Besides, the bride-to-be met her hubby at 38. That number is still a year and half way, so why not enjoy being footloose and fancy free in the meantime?
Bring on Mr. Right Now.
| The European Dating Blitz, The Great Dating Blitz
July 19th, 2010 — 7:25pm
When I returned from my Great Dating Blitz, there was one question (apart from, of course, my romantic status) that I heard over and over again — would I be taking my exploration of singlehood overseas? After giving it some serious thought, I’ve decided the answer is yes!
Next month, the adventure starts all over with . Like my first itinerary, this one will cover a combination of cities I’ve been to and cities I’ve never visited. Once again, I will be interviewing local single gals and going on a series of dates. My travels will take me to:
…and one mystery city to be revealed toward the end of the trip. Though this journey will be slightly shorter — six weeks instead of eight — I have no doubt it will be every bit as action packed. And I’m hoping you’ll drop me a line at SingleGalInTheCity@gmail.com if you have any suggestions for singles I can connect with in my chosen destinations.
The blitz begins August 17th!
| The European Dating Blitz, The Great Dating Blitz, travel