Category: The Great Dating Blitz


October 27th, 2013 — 10:02pm

When it comes to being single in New York, the best part is there’s no pressure to settle down. As I’ve discovered time and time again, though, it’s also the worst part.

That double edged sword first sharply came into focus when I went on my Great Dating Blitz three years ago. In many of the cities I visited, the common trajectory was for people to partner up or at least be heading in that direction by the time they hit thirty.

Here, on the other hand, you encounter men who are 45+, never married and boast about the fact that they’re in no hurry to change that. Of course, why should they be?

As New Yorkers, we tend to pride ourselves on living life at a frenetic pace, cramming in as much as possible. This invariably carries over to our dating culture, where quantity seems to trump quality. Romantic chemistry is considered a disposable, easily replaced commodity.

Awhile back, I went out with a guy I met online. The evening was going well — flirty conversation, a post-cocktail smooch. His takeaway?

“You’re great, but I could go home, log on and find someone else great too.”

Indeed. In a city with so many choices, why bother committing to just one?

It’s hard not to let the noncommittal sensibility end up dictating how you approach dating. Except on those all too rare moments when you’re reminded there is a lot to be said for seeking out more than that. Like the fluttering feeling in your stomach that accompanies feeling a genuine spark with someone. Or reminiscing with an old flame about when it really felt like love could conquer all.

For now, never mind love — it’s first date fatigue I need to conquer.

| dating in New York, dating in your thirties, The Great Dating Blitz

June 23rd, 2013 — 12:40pm

When it comes to finding love, you often hear about the dual forces of luck and timing. In navigating the ups and downs of thirtysomething singlehood, you inevitably find yourself questioning whether this duo is working in your favor. Lately, I’ve experienced examples that they are – in very unexpected ways.

Case in point number one – my derailed reunion with D, an out of town bachelor I met during my Great Dating Blitz three years ago. After reconnecting back in April, D and I began communicating almost daily. Soon, we were planning a romantic weekend for him to visit. But the Friday that D was to arrive, his flight ended up getting cancelled because of torrential rains.

Suitcase packed, D headed to the airport anyway, attempting to fly standby. Several hours later, he was informed there would be no availability until the following afternoon. We spoke and texted our mutual disappointment, initially talking about the possibility of rescheduling.

That conversation has slowly tapered off. I can’t help wondering, was Mother Nature’s intervention intended to spare us both from a protracted long distance scenario?

Meanwhile, closer to home, two great dates with a guy I met at speed dating were followed by him cancelling last minute without an explanation. Though my instincts said I should say sayonara because he was clearly not that interested, I opted to give Mr. MIA one more chance. After all, in this post-modern dating world, etiquette about making plans is a more fluid thing, right? We’re supposed to be flexible, etc., etc.

Not so much – as I was just reminded by an old flame. When work forced him to cancel our plans, he called (rather than texted), offered a heartfelt apology and immediately rescheduled. His thoughtfulness confirmed what I already knew about Mr. MIA: he’s not a candidate for anything serious.

Bottom line, it seems that luck and timing have been doing their part to steer me away from men with whom there is no future. All the more reason to be hopeful about stumbling upon the right guy — with their capable help of course.

| dating dos and don'ts, dating in your thirties, old flames, speed dating, The Great Dating Blitz

June 9th, 2013 — 9:56pm

Wednesday, I enjoyed a long overdue girls night in with my good friend Faith.

Spending time with Faith is always a wonderful reminder that serendipity really is a force you can count on. Faith and I met three years ago, at a happy hour hosted by a guy I went out with once. Though sparks didn’t ignite on the date, the chemistry between me and Faith was immediate.

Faith and me celebrating the holidays (December 2011)

Smart, fun and full of heart, Faith exudes an energy you can’t help wanting to be around. She also happens to be a fabulous wing woman, as I’ve discovered on several occasions when she has played matchmaker while we’re out on the town.

The other night, we had plenty to catch up on. Our effortless, soul soothing conversation covered career transitions, the ebb and flow of attraction when a relationship fizzles out, and how unpredictable dating can be.

In just the last week alone, I’ve experienced major post-date miscommunication with one guy and a derailed reunion with an old flame from my Great Dating Blitz. It’s too soon to say what the outcome of either will be — but I am oddly okay with that. Because I am finally embracing that the direction my love life takes isn’t something I can foresee. Better to just embrace the adventure of it all — and remain hopeful about a happy ending.

And of course being thankful for girlfriends like Faith to share it all with.

| dating, dating in your thirties, girls night in, The Great Dating Blitz

July 16th, 2012 — 1:36pm

For as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamed about seeing my byline in a national publication. Thanks to serendipity and a longtime friend, that dream has come true – in the new issue of Latina Magazine.

Gloria Estefan graces the current issue of Latina…which features my byline on page 58!

Every issue of Latina features a personal essay column called My Story. During drinks earlier this year with Lifestyle Editor Grace Bastidas, I told her heard about my Great Dating Blitz across the U.S. and she thought it would be a great fit for the magazine. Grace and I first connected five years ago, when she interviewed me for a New York Post roundup of eligible Latinos.

I couldn’t be more proud or excited that this milestone is in a publication which celebrates Hispanic heritage. My maternal grandparents were from Ecuador and Puerto Rico, and I grew up experiencing the traditions of family, food and music that are so much a part of Latin culture. I like to think they’re smiling down with my beloved Mom on this milestone.

In the 600-word essay, I talk about what I learned during my travels – and what a profound impact my grandparents’ and parents’ respective marriages have had upon me:

“My abuelos were happily married for 50 years. My parents openly adored each other for almost 30 years, engaging in enough PDA to make me want to find a storybook love of my own.”

To read more, pick up the August issue of Latina Magazine on newsstands now!

| getting published, The Great Dating Blitz, writing milestones

June 16th, 2012 — 7:49pm

Greetings from South Beach in Miami, where I’m enjoying a girls getaway with my dear friend Patrina. Trina and I last caught up in Houston two years ago, during my Great Dating Blitz.

Our Room With A View at the Marriott South Beach

is where I ended that adventure, so it feels really special to be back here — and to be back at the Marriott, the ideal home away from home for a single gal. Once again, I’m savoring the brand’s warm hospitality and first class amenities…not to mention a warm welcome in the form of sparkling wine and chocolate covered strawberries delivered to our room.

Trina and I are savoring this beachside getaway.

Coming up…a full report on our weekend in SoBe!

| girlfriend getaways, The Great Dating Blitz

February 9th, 2012 — 9:58pm

 Yesterday, a friend of mine raised the question that pretty much every dating blogger asks herself at some point – is writing about my love life actually keeping me single? It’s a question that’s come up quite a bit lately, since I announced my adventure.

Two bachelor candidates that friends wanted to set me up with balked upon discovering I have a blog. Though I can certainly appreciate and understand being a private person, I can’t help also noticing how different the reaction was from men I met during my Great Dating Blitz. All of the bachelors in the eight cities I visited knew about SingleGalNYC.com and didn’t hesitate to meet with me and be themselves when we went out.

With that openness came an implicit understanding, I think, that I would be respectful in what I wrote — and keep identifying details pretty general so that their privacy would be maintained. Here in New York, where being guarded and suspicious is second nature, even reassurances to keep things anonymous (or even off the blog entirely) isn’t enough for some.

Perhaps the most frustrating recent example – a guy I connected with during the tail end of a girls night out. We clicked immediately.

“It figures I haven’t met anyone I wanted to go home with tonight…until now,” he said flirtatiously.

He gave me his business card, and kissed me on the cheek when he put me in a cab before heading off with friends. When I emailed him to suggest drinks, he responded—

“I sincerely apologize if my European heritage/behavior sent mixed messages, however I am not looking for dating. Believe me, if I were, those piercing blue eyes of yours, charming smile and great stories would have me flinging myself at you. But if my gallant efforts were to be successful that might put ruin to your blogging career… at least in its current incarnation. I would hate to be responsible for you looking for a new URL.”

Now, of course, he might genuinely just not be interested. Call me crazy, though, but his ‘mixed message’ seemed to continue in the above missive – with the underlying one being the blog is what turned him off.

People often say that meeting someone will mean the end of my blogging career.  These people aren’t writers. Because, as I told Mr. European, writers always have something to say – it’s simply in our DNA. I know this for sure – I’m about to finish handwritten journal #98.

As for whether having the subject of my blog be singlehood is a deterrent to finding Mr. Right, I’m not so sure about that. For all of the gun-shy guys out there, I’ve also dated some that have had no problem with being part of my little corner of cyberspace. Like adorable PR executive E, who smiled sweetly at my online accounts of our first few dates. Or hunky cop Rich, who not only didn’t mind the blog but gladly brainstormed ideas for future posts.

Bottom line – they both understood that writing is a huge part of who I am. The right guy will too.

| dating bloggers, Nominate A Date, The Great Dating Blitz

February 3rd, 2012 — 8:16am

(photo courtesy: online-matchmaker.org)

I’ve always been a big believer in getting out of my comfort zone and shaking things up. That’s why I’ve dubbed 2012 the year of Just Say Yes. And it is in that spirit of open mindedness that I am excited to announce my next big adventure – Nominate A Date.

Beginning February 14th, I will spend the better part of eight weeks going on a series of blind dates. Each date will be with a bachelor of anyone’s choosing. Yes, that means if you’re willing to take the time to play matchmaker, I will go out with whoever you connect me with.

As longtime readers of this blog know, this isn’t my first experiment in seeing how social media and dating intersect. In 2010, I embarked on two Dating Blitzes – one across the U.S., the other in Europe – that connected me with many smart, fabulous single men and women. I learned so much from both experiences, but perhaps the greatest lesson was how important it is to savor the journey of singlehood and not be defined by where you want it to take you.

So what makes Nominate A Date different? The obvious answer, of course, is that this two month adventure will take place right here in my hometown. After exploring single life in eight other cities and six other countries, it feels right to come back to where I started – a little older and (hopefully) wiser.  And what better place to apply another major insight from both blitzes, that everyone has a touch of Cupid in them?

There are only two ground rules for Nominate A Date — each date must take place here in NYC and all bachelors must be between the ages of 27 and 47. Why such a big age spread? Because this experience is all about casting aside any preconceived notions about dating ‘types.’ And – full disclosure here — having been raised by a happily married couple with a 25-year age difference who adored each other, I’m one of those people who doesn’t think such gaps are an obstacle to chemistry.

I hope you’ll join me — and help spread the word — as I embark on this exciting new chapter. to see my YouTube video about Nominate A Date and feel free to email me at SingleGalInTheCity@gmail.com with any questions. In addition to my blog updates, you can follow my adventure on Twitter with hashtag #NominateADate.

Who will you nominate? Let the matchmaking begin!

| matchmaking, matchmaking attempts, Nominate A Date, The European Dating Blitz, The Great Dating Blitz, YouTube

September 12th, 2011 — 8:33pm

Saturday, I got the chance to catch up with two of my favorite people from last year’s US and European Dating Blitzes.

Hello Again: WhyCLE blogger Jen and me

My action-packed day started at Fig and Olive in Midtown, where I had brunch with WhyCLE blogger and Cleveland native Jen, and her fiance Matthew. Jen reiterated how finding Mr Right was the furthest thing from her mind when we talked about singlehood back in March of 2010. She was going to cancel her subscription to Match.com, but it auto-renewed before she could — which is when she connected with Matt.

A good-looking couple that are truly a perfect fit, Jen and Matt had me laughing about the unscripted moments leading up to their engagement.

Matt’s first attempt was thwarted by a ring mix-up with the jeweler. Once he finally had the ring, he decided to decorate their home with hundreds of roses for the occasion, disconnecting the garage door opener so Jen could experience her surprise by coming in through the front door. Jen was so focused on going out and getting the gadget fixed – not to mention recovering from a rough day at the office – that Matt had a hard time getting her full attention.

Jen and Matt were beaming with happiness as they shared the story. If this is what happily ever after looks like, I say sign me up.

Up next…the scoop on my long-awaited second date with an Irish sweetheart.

| meeting Mr. Right, online dating, The Great Dating Blitz

August 24th, 2011 — 2:29pm

I recently corresponded with two women I met on last year’s US Dating Blitz — both of whom are engaged. As they shared their bliss during this pre-marital period, I couldn’t help thinking about how the unexpected is so much a part of wherever you are in the relationship spectrum.

For both betrothed gals, meeting their respective fiancés was a surprise. Cleveland native Jen joined Match on a lark, with what she describes as zero expectations. Atlanta resident Leah dragged herself to a holiday party she had no interest in attending.

Their respective happy outcomes reminded me you have to be open to wherever this process takes you. Case in point — my recent second date with a long ago colleague I connected with on OkCupid.

As I , given our very rocky professional history, I can say he is the last person I would ever have expected to go out with.  And yet, we ended up sharing a great conversation and some laughs — a reminder that it’s always worth letting go of the past to make room for new possibilities in the present.

Congrats, Jen and Leah!

| meeting Mr. Right, OKCupid, online dating, The Great Dating Blitz

May 15th, 2011 — 4:33pm

Monday night, I headed over to Palomino’s – a lively happy hour spot near Embarcadero – to catch up with my friend and former PR colleague Kim.

Girls Night Out: Kim and me

It had been a couple of years since Kim and I had seen each other so we had plenty to catch up on. Over a few glasses of wine and a shared bruschetta sampler, we talked about her stint as a London resident, my dating hiatus and the varied charms of San Francisco.

One of the things that struck me many times during my visit is how friendly the locals are. Case in point – Fred, a bachelor Kim had met at a recent singles event who ended up sitting beside us at the bar.

Fred graciously engaged us in conversation about single life in San Fran, expressing genuine curiosity about my Great Dating Blitz last year. As the three of us talked, I couldn’t help wishing SF had beat Miami as the popular choice for my final destination. It’s clearly a place where people know how to make you feel welcome and how to manage a healthy work-life balance. And when Kim asked me if I would ever consider moving out West, I found myself thinking….maybe.

Our hunky bartender Joe told us the place to be on Mondays in town is Trigger, a gay nightclub in the Castro district. Along with cheap cocktails ($2 vodka cranberry, anyone?) and a lively crowd, Monday is 80’s night. Kim and I danced up a storm.

At one point, I climbed up on stage to join a Janet Jackson impersonator shaking his thing to “Escapade.” He immediately stared at me with daggers and began stomping in my direction, so I knew there was only room for one diva and quickly returned to the floor.

It was well after 1am when we called in a night. I couldn’t help thinking how restorative a change of scenery never fails to be – and that, sometime in the not too distant future, it might be time to make that change a permanent one.

| 80's music, Girls Night Out, The Great Dating Blitz, travel

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