Category: online flirting


Sponsored Post: Chemistry Happens Offline

February 24th, 2012 — 10:54am

One of my biggest pet peeves about online dating is the common practice of dragging out pre-meeting communication. Which is why I love HowAboutWe.com’s new “Chemistry Happens Offline” campaign.

The site just launched a , and a contest inviting people to post video responses to it on HowAboutWe.com’s YouTube page. Unlike other sites, HowAboutWe.com is all about getting to an in-person date as quickly as possible. Members post date activities they want to do and connecting is as simple as finding one you like and clicking “Let’s Go.” I love this approach because it bypasses the tedium of endless back and forth emailing, IM’ing, texting, etc.

I’ve never understood why people — and I think men and women are equally guilty of this – choose to spend so much time communicating online before actually committing to a date. Email isn’t a predictor of chemistry, and yet it seems like many online daters prefer to become cyber pen pals rather cutting to the chase. That’s how I ended up with the following tagline at the end of my profile:

“Guys interested in interminable online communication need not apply.”

Those few words have saved me a lot of time, because the men who contact me tend to quickly suggest either a phone call or meeting in person. Call me crazy, but isn’t that the whole point of going online in the first place?

That you can only discover chemistry offline is something I’ve been happily reminded of since starting my Nominate A Date adventure a few weeks ago. With each bachelor I’ve met so far, I’ve experienced what can only happen when you meet in person – seeing his reaction to something I’ve said, feeling my own response to what he reveals about himself and perhaps the strongest indicator of a growing connection: forgetting all the first dates that have come before and being completely in the moment.

What does “Chemistry Happens Offline” mean to you? Post a video response on HowAboutWe.com’s and you could win $1,500! You can check out my video . More info can be found and be sure to vote for your favorites (hint, hint). And even though Valentine’s Day is over, HowAboutWe.com is offering a 33% discount off any subscription with coupon code .

The contest runs until 12 am on Saturday, March 24th.

| Nominate A Date, online dating, online dating profiles, online flirting

Relearning The Rules of Online Dating

January 2nd, 2012 — 7:31pm

(photo courtesy: DatingHeadshots.com)

With the new year here at last, I’m getting back out into the dating scene. That means going online again — and relearning some of odd rules of dating in cyberspace.

Beware of weird/cutesy profile names: Though not always the case, it’s safe to say that an unusual profile handle often equals an equally unusual person. Among the more colorful guys I’ve heard from — monkey_vs_robot, out_to_late_NYC and easternspice4u.

Being overly familiar isn’t a turn on: even after online dating on and off for years, I’m astounded at how many people don’t know the difference between flirting and creepy come ons. Among the recent opening gambits I’ve received: “Hi Honey” and “You are yummy.” In a word, ewww.

Lengthy emails and chat mean nothing: Many bachelors online seem to favor back and forth communicating that never goes anywhere. Case in point — the fortysomething hotel exec who followed up a five paragraph email and one hour conversation with…zilch.

Disappearing and reappearing require no explanation: In a dating medium designed for short attention spans and shopping around, this is an all too common occurrence. My favorite recent example — the Connecticut bachelor I chatted with who said he would call me back but never did, only to resurface in an email a month later. I invited him to give me a call. “Will do,” he says. He doesn’t then emails me again three months later. “Hi Melissa, long time!” he writes, oddly given that he disappeared twice. 

Speaking of disappearing acts, not all are the same. I’m actually meeting up this week for date number three with a charming, cute OkCupid bachelor — three months after date number two took place.

Here’s to an eventful 2012, on and offline!

| OKCupid, online dating, online dating profiles, online flirting

Flirting Via Social Media

June 21st, 2011 — 1:56pm

When it comes to connecting through social media, it’s no surprise that flirting is one of  the more popular applications.

Lately, I’ve heard from a handful of random bachelors through Facebook and Twitter. The unfortunate trend I’ve noticed, though, is most of them don’t bother to do their homework first. Unlike guys who reach out through online dating sites, the FB/Twitter crowd rarely attempts to personalize what they write.

Take for example, the 38-year-old Gotham bachelor who messaged me on Facebook without even addressing me by name.

“Hello How Are You Today. Am seeking a woman with good sense of humor understanding and with a caring heart,  for a long term relationship that could lead to marriage..when I hear from you I will tell you more about myself…Meanwhile tell little about yourself.”

I’m all for casting a wide net when searching for love, but sending mass impersonal emails or messages is just bad form. Of course, sometimes even the guys who do a little research first don’t quite know how to articulate that effectively. Here’s what one Texas-based bachelor (a professional writer, no less) tweeted me yesterday:

“I saw your site and you seem to be a ‘professional’ single girl. What I mean is…being single has become your profession.”

Call me oversensitive, but saying that I’m single for a living isn’t exactly a compliment. I’m a writer who happens to blog about being single — writing is my profession, being unattached is simply a part of who I am.

Thankfully, there is the rare, charming guy who gets that effective flirting lies in paying attention to the little things. In my Twitter bio, I mention a love for 80’s music. This prompted an adorable Ohio native to tweet me about his affection for music of that era.

“I’m the 80’s music king…awesome trivia shall come later..”

Sure enough, Mr. Ohio has sent along some playful trivia questions that have tested the limits of my 80’s knowledge — and opened the door to easy banter.

“You know I would walk to nyc if I knew love was there…lol.”

A romantic with a sense of humor who can articulate all of that in 140 characters or less? Sounds like my kind of guy.

| Facebook, online flirting, Twitter

The Downside of Virtual Flirting

December 1st, 2009 — 12:40am

When you’re single, social networking often takes on a whole new dimension — as I discovered not too long ago with a brief Twitter flirtation.

It began with a direct message from Tom, one of my Twitter followers and a Connecticut-based fellow PR practitioner. Our conversation moved quickly from business practices in a down economy to playful banter.

Referencing my Twitter bio, which mentions a previous stint in broadcast news, Tom said —

“Well, you’re TV gorgeous.”

A few more direct messages and texts later, we were sharing favorite cocktails and planning to get together in person. Tom asked me when I was Connecticut-bound, and I countered with asking when he was coming to the city.

“Whenever you say yes to letting me buy you drinks,” he replied.

Though our e-flirting didn’t end up materializing into a date, I couldn’t help thinking about how the Internet, text messaging and the like have become a double-edged sword when it comes to romance.

For as much as technology makes it easier to interact with new people, it also makes truly connecting more difficult — because it has overtaken traditional methods of communication like ye old telephone.

Whatever happened to the ritual of extending a date invitation by phone? Or following up after a great date with an actual conversation instead of a text message? You can say a lot more by using your voice than you can with your Blackberry.

Which is why I’m happy to skip the virtual flirting in favor of making connections through more old fashioned means — speed dating.

| Blackberry, calling instead of emailing or texting, online flirting, speed dating, Twitter

The Downside of Virtual Flirting

November 30th, 2009 — 7:40pm

When you’re single, social networking often takes on a whole new dimension — as I discovered not too long ago with a brief Twitter flirtation.

It began with a direct message from Tom, one of my Twitter followers and a Connecticut-based fellow PR practitioner. Our conversation moved quickly from business practices in a down economy to playful banter.

Referencing my Twitter bio, which mentions a previous stint in broadcast news, Tom said —

“Well, you’re TV gorgeous.”

A few more direct messages and texts later, we were sharing favorite cocktails and planning to get together in person. Tom asked me when I was Connecticut-bound, and I countered with asking when he was coming to the city.

“Whenever you say yes to letting me buy you drinks,” he replied.

Though our e-flirting didn’t end up materializing into a date, I couldn’t help thinking about how the Internet, text messaging and the like have become a double-edged sword when it comes to romance.

For as much as technology makes it easier to interact with new people, it also makes truly connecting more difficult — because it has overtaken traditional methods of communication like ye old telephone.

Whatever happened to the ritual of extending a date invitation by phone? Or following up after a great date with an actual conversation instead of a text message? You can say a lot more by using your voice than you can with your Blackberry.

Which is why I’m happy to skip the virtual flirting in favor of making connections through more old fashioned means — speed dating.

| Blackberry, calling instead of emailing or texting, online flirting, speed dating, Twitter

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