Category: dating advice

November 24th, 2013 — 11:40am

Thursday night, my good friend Sara and I headed over Lord & Taylor’s flagship store in Midtown for a Girls Night Out with Allure Magazine and ESQ Movado.

The evening featured Champagne, sweet treats and the opportunity to try on a sassy, colorful watch. We also got to enjoy mini manicures. Sara chose a festive gold color while I went for my usual pale pink (note to self: be more adventurous with nail color in 2014).

All smiles: Sara enjoying a mini manicure

One of the evening’s highlights – a Q&A session with dating expert and author . Andrea has long been a favorite of mine when it comes to dispensing practical advice that is based on common sense rather than outdated rules.

“The best thing you can do for your love life is to love your life,” she told the crowd of about 200 women.

Dating expert Andrea Syrtash

Andrea also encouraged taking risks this holiday season, whether it’s approaching someone at a party or exploring a new hobby that answers the question, where do I shine?

As for the right time to broach the subject of where a relationship is going, Andrea maintains there’s no one size fits all answer.

“Some couples know after 3 weeks, some couples take seven years,” she said.

Everything Andrea said truly resonated with me. 2013 has been a very bumpy year when it comes to dating – one that has raised more questions than it has answered. It’s forced me to reexamine long held rules which may be holding me back, and to see how hard it is to check your emotional baggage at the door when you’re getting to know someone new.

With 2014 right around the corner, I’ve already decided on my first New Year’s resolution – to not make any that have to do with my love life. That’s a first for me, so maybe the approaching end of my thirties has made me a little wiser after all.

Hope springs eternal.

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November 3rd, 2013 — 3:48pm

Fall is in full swing and this is the perfect time of year – before winter sets in and 2014 sneaks up on us – to give your love life a reboot. Here are some top tips for shaking up your dating routine.

Break The Ice: If you encounter someone who strikes your fancy, take the initiative to say something that gets his attention. Not the bold type? Just making eye contact and starting with a simple hello and how are you will usually get the job done.

Get Out Of Your Zip Code: Have you spent so much time at your neighborhood bar that everyone knows your name? Mix things up by venturing out of the hood to some singles-friendly venues with a favorable guy-girl ratio. A few worth visiting: upscale sports bar The Royal in Union Square, lively BBQ joint  Brother Jimmy’s (various locations) and Midtown West happy hour hotspot Faces & Names.

Go Mobile: Tired of time consuming online dating websites? Speed up your love life by downloading a mobile app. Check out Tinder and Anomo or the app functions of HowAboutWe and OkCupid.

Get Involved: From New York Cares to, there’s no shortage of groups that will connect you with a new passion and maybe even a new romance. This year, I’ve volunteered at NY Cares projects covering computer literacy, soup kitchens and elderly assistance, and joined a Meetup book club. Make some space in your calendar to broaden your horizons and have fun along the way.

Boost Your Dating IQ: As singles, we can all use some expert advice from time to time. You’ll find some of the best from Matchmaker and Single In Stilettos Founder Suzanne Oshima. Sign up for Suzanne’s weekly emails, providing a healthy dose of common sense and refreshing take on the ups and downs of dating. I recently shared my takes on the unique challenges of thirtysomething dating and how to navigate them. to watch the full interview.

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June 2nd, 2013 — 9:16pm

Wednesday night, I attended a press preview for Andrea Syrtash and Jeff Wilser’s new book,

All smiles with co-authors Jeff and Andrea

Held at THE LCL: Bar & Kitchen and sponsored by Movado, the lively event gave me the opportunity to catch up with some of my favorite fellow bloggers: , and . This trio’s sass and smarts never fail to entertain.

While enjoying cocktails and some delicious hors d’oeuvres, we talked about the teenage-like thrill of a great first date, the complicated journey of exiting a difficult romance and the myriad joys of being in jobs that we love. Nando also shared a hilarious tale about the interplay between his two pet birds that proves male-female posturing in relationships happens among the animal set too.

Movado treated all attendees to a fabulous gift — a watch from their colorful collection. I opted for a classic white timepiece which I am loving. Thank you, Movado!

Tres Chic: Movado’s ESQONE timepiece

I also had the pleasure of chatting briefly with co-author Jeff, who shared that a chance meeting with Andrea at a writers’ conference sparked the initial idea for them to pen a book together.

I’m only a few chapters into it, and I have to say it is the best kind of dating advice book — smart, funny and full of common sense advice. Jeff and Andrea play well off each other, especially since they are coming from different vantage points: she’s married, he’s single. One of my favorite quotes so far from Jeff has to do with the question of who pays on a first date:

“The guy who doesn’t pay isn’t some daring, trailblazing pioneer for women’s rights; he’s just cheap.”

Well said.

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March 24th, 2013 — 8:05pm

About seven months ago, I decided it was time to upgrade my kitchen and bathroom. Though I was forewarned by family and friends to prepare for delays and detours, I still couldn’t have imagined how all consuming this little home improvement project would become.

Work In Progress: What will eventually be my new kitchen and bathroom fixtures

As I near the end of my renovation odyssey, I can’t help thinking that some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way also apply to the search for love.

Never Assume (i.e. Ask The Right Questions) – My contractor assured me his company would take care of the paperwork needed for my co-op, so I assumed I didn’t have to do anything on my end. Until a month later when my superintendent happened to inform me I needed to fill out an alteration agreement. I could’ve avoided the four week delay if I had just asked the right questions, something that’s just as important to do when you’re in the early stages of dating someone new.

Expect The Unexpected – This seems like an obvious one, but I was still thrown for a loop when faced with crookedly hung cabinets, the delivery of backsplash tiles I didn’t order and minor construction mistakes shared with me after installation. No matter how much you plan, renovating is full of surprises and the same is true of dating.

The Timeline In Your Head Doesn’t Always Correspond To Reality – When I signed with my contractor back in November, I figured I would be cooking in my new kitchen by Valentine’s Day. That deadline came and went, a reminder that it doesn’t matter what time frame you have in your head for completing a major milestone. Life happens and this is especially true when it comes to the circuitous path of dating and mating. That doesn’t mean it won’t happen, only that it’s going to take a little longer.

With my newly made over kitchen and bathroom about a week or so away from being finished — fingers, toes and all other parts crossed, of course – I’m feeling hopeful about what lies ahead for my love life too.

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February 17th, 2013 — 5:06pm

Wednesday night, I headed over to David’s Tea on the Upper East Side for cocktails and conversation in celebration of eFlirtExpert Founder Laurie Davis’ fabulous new book, .

eFlirtExpert Founder and author Laurie Davis shared some online dating tips with the crowd

Having worked with nearly a thousand clients and connected with her future hubby on Twitter, Laurie knows plenty about dating in the digital world. Love At First Click is a brisk, engaging read packed with great tips for finding love in cyberspace. Laurie covers everything – from choosing the website that’s right for you and creating the perfect profile to netiquette rules.

All smiles with the author

After reading her book, you won’t have to wonder about whether to wink or how to use emoticons when flirting via email. The best compliment I can give is that Love At First Click has made me consider a  return to online dating. Laurie dispenses her practical, proven advice like an old friend whose wisdom you can’t deny. Her book is a must read for singles navigating the digital dating world.

Laurie and I talked about how excited we are for Tuesday’s First Date how-to event at THE LCL: Bar & Kitchen at the Westin New York Grand Central. Laurie will be joined by her fiancé Thomas Edwards (a.k.a ) and a team of Starwood hotel concierges, sharing their expertise about where to go and what to do on a first date. for more info and to RSVP.

I also had the pleasure of catching up with CeCe of . We talked about work, what’s new in social media — I didn’t know about hot new video app Vine – and adventures in speed dating. I told CeCe about the guy I met at HurryDate last month who called me at work weeks later, soliciting a business lead then clumsily asking me out as an afterthought.

Here’s hoping my next speed dating outing in March will be more successful. In the meantime, I think I might be paying a visit to OkCupid…

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July 3rd, 2012 — 8:43pm

Four years ago today, thanks to the encouragement of my dear friend , I started Single Gal In The City. I can still remember the excitement I felt writing my – and Carla’s enthusiastic response when I shared it with her—

“OMG, I love it! Keep going!”

All smiles on the Brooklyn Bridge, a week after launching SGITC

And so began what has been a truly amazing, unexpected journey. My little corner of the blogosphere has given me the opportunity to grow and learn so much – by reflecting on the ups and downs of being single in New York City.

Over the last four years, I have shared tales of online dating, speed dating and multiple dating blitzes. I have talked about new romances and old flames. I have of my handwritten journals about 80 times. And I have shared memorable travels, girls nights out and career transitions.

Along the way, I have heard from many of you about your own journeys through the unpredictable landscape of dating in the 21st century. I thank you for that – and for spending time here on SGITC. It is a pleasure and privilege to have this platform. It wouldn’t be possible without your support.

Thinking about the 1,600 posts+ that have brought me to today, I also find myself thinking about the two questions I’m most often asked: do I ever run out of things to write about? And what in the world will I write about if/when I’m no longer a single gal in the city? My answers – absolutely not and plenty.

As the 98 volumes of my journal can also attest, a writer always writes. A new relationship status won’t change that. It will simply mean blogging from a different vantage point while continuing to share the people, places and experiences that make up life in this wonderful city I’m so fortunate to call home.

To celebrate Single Gal In The City’s fourth anniversary, I’m giving away a few items I’ve raved about over the years. Two SGITC readers will win copies of relationship advice book, How To Be The One by Roy Sheppard. One reader will receive a copy of Blane Bachelor’s fabulous collection of columns and wisdom about dating, On Being A Bachelor. And another reader will receive a DVD copy of one of my all-time favorite movies, Dirty Dancing. To enter the giveaway, post a comment below by Friday July 13th sharing what you’ve enjoyed most about SGITC so far.

Here’s to many more blogversaries!

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June 25th, 2012 — 9:23pm

When it comes to getting noticed by the opposite sex this summer, most of the advice you’ll find is focused on fashion and beauty. While I’m all for sprucing up your style, I think a makeover from the inside out is just as important – and that’s exactly the message in relationship coach Rori Raye’s e-book, .

Right off the bat, Rori is candid about her own complicated journey to finding love. After meeting her future husband at age 38, she pushed him away for months because he didn’t fit her preconceived type. Married at 39, she went through a rocky period with him a year later that she admits found them on the verge of divorce. What turned things around? A shift in her actions and attitude, and in Have The Relationship You Want, she talks about how you can do the same.

Unlike a lot of dating ‘wisdom’ out there, Rori’s tips are not about manipulation or game playing but based on hard-earned common sense. Let go of the past and the negative, she says, because that creates barriers between you and your partner–

“There’s a difference between control and choice…If you want great great sex, love and affection, why focus on getting a man to take out the garbage? Accept your partner for who he is.”

Though much of Have The Relationship You Want is geared toward couples, the principles Rori shares also apply to looking for love too. She emphasizes the importance of being clear about what you want and recognizing how small behavioral changes can make a big difference.

It’s summer, so why not give your love life a jump start? To learn more practical tips for having the relationship you want, . Whether you’re single or dating, you’ll benefit from her refreshing approach to finding and maintaining love. To purchase a copy of her e-book, .

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June 18th, 2012 — 7:14pm

It’s a question all of us single gals have asked at one time or another — where are all the single, available men? Well, what if your existing social circle held the answer to that question? This is the premise of (Simon & Schuster), a new book by Jessica Massa, co-creator of the acclaimed website

Based on in-depth interviews with young women and men across the U.S., the book is a how-to guide for navigating your love life in what Massa describes as a “post-dating world.” It talks a lot about how technology has changed the dating landscape – and how the Gaggle concept can help women take charge of their romantic fate.

So what exactly is the gaggle? Massa and her best-friend-turned-business-partner Rebecca Wiegand coined the term to describe the collection of guys in every woman’s life.

“Your gaggle is the group of guys in your life who you might not be “dating,” but who play different roles, fulfill different needs, and help you to figure out who you are and what kind of guy and relationship you ultimately want,” says Massa. “These guys are all around you, once you open your eyes to them! There are ten types of guys who might be in your gaggle at any moment (for a list of all ten types).”

Massa adds that the gaggle approach is easy to adopt – it’s simply a matter of shifting how you think about the men you know, and the new men you’re meeting every day.

“Women don’t need to learn any tricks or memorize any rules,” she says. “They just need to start recognizing that all the ambiguous, not-quite-romantic-but-not-quite-platonic relationships that they have with men mean something.”

You can read an excerpt of The Gaggle . Even better, I’ve got a copy to give away to one lucky Single Gal In The City reader! Post a comment below by Friday June 22nd and tell me what you think about the Gaggle concept, and you’ll be automatically entered to win!

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May 14th, 2012 — 1:59pm

Dating in NYC (or anywhere, for that matter) can be exhausting at times. If you’re looking to inject new energy into your love life, you might want to check out Mindful Dating.

Unlike many “how to meet your mate” workshops, this one will take the form of a fun and interactive Sunday afternoon brunch that includes wine, cupcakes and light fare. Makeup artists will be on hand to demonstrate how to showcase your best physical assets, and the event features presentations from licensed psychotherapist Chamin Ajjan, registered dietitian A. Fiorella DiCarlo and Dating Coach Trenia Parham, MS.

Mindful Dating will take place on Sunday, June 10, 2012 from noon-4pm at Silk Studio in Noho. Tuition is $75 and includes brunch, make-up demos, and presentations. To sign up,  or call Chamin at 917.476.9381.

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April 26th, 2012 — 2:32pm

When it comes to being single and searching, wouldn’t it be great to have a brain trust of dating experts? That’s exactly what you’ll get at .

On Saturday April 28th in NYC, will bring together a panel of more than a dozen renowned dating experts for the first in a series of events across the U.S. Designed to empower, inspire and motivate women, the all-day event will cover dating & relationships, image, fashion and sex.

The includes: Clinical Psychologist & Certified Sex Therapist Dr. Megan Fleming, The Frisky Editor-in-Chief Amelia McDonell-Parry, Brand U360 CEO Erika Nitz, Professional Wingman Thomas Edwards Jr, Professional Wing Girl Marni Kinrys, eFlirt Expert Founder and CEO Laurie Davis and Executive Editor Lori Vadala Bizzoco.  Several dating coaches will also be on hand.

Matchmaker and Single in Stilettos creator came up with the event after interviewing more than 1,000 bachelorettes about how they’re looking for Mr. Right.

“Over and over they would just say one or two things, ‘online dating’ or, ‘going to bars and clubs’,” Oshima says. “Women simply are not taking advantage of all the other creative avenues for meeting the right man. Single in Stilettos [gives] single women the secrets on where to find men, but also what men look for and want in a woman.”

Single in Stilettos will take place at the Skylight Room in Chelsea. Dating sessions and panels run from 10am-6pm, followed by a happy hour from 6-8pm featuring complimentary vodka cocktails, raffle prizes and goodie bags sponsored by Babeland. Admission is $80, but SGITC readers can at a special price of $25 with discount code SGC4.

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