Category: being single in your thirties


Rediscovering The Power Of One

June 7th, 2011 — 5:05pm

One of the great things about living in New York is it really is a place that celebrates the power of one. Over the last couple of days, I found myself rediscovering this attribute of my hometown.

It started over drinks at wine bar Riposo 46 in Hell’s Kitchen with Nicki (aka moneymaus), a lovely twentysomething bachelorette newly transplanted from San Diego.

With most of her friends back home settled in serious relationships, Nicki is finding the NYC single’s way of life to be a breathe of fresh air. Though I couldn’t help thinking the solo living reigns supreme mantra was decidedly easier to embrace when I was Nicki’s age, some of her enthusiasm rubbed off on me — especially the next night, during a visit to O’Flanagan’s.

Galpal Bobbi joined me for a drink here after tapas at UES bistro El Porron. After she left, I opted to stick around and enjoy the sounds of fabulous cover band East Coast.

Readers of this blog know O’Flanny’s is my favorite neighborhood dive bar and East Coast is one of the big reasons why. They know how to create a vibe that’s a cross between a wedding and a good friend’s house party.

As I took to the dance floor and shook my booty to energetic covers of Lady Gaga, Cee Lo Green and Katy Perry, I felt something I haven’t in awhile — completely happy to be out and about on my own. For once, I wasn’t wishing away my single status, I was appreciating the freedom to go wherever the night takes me. 

Who knew singing a different tune could be so much fun?

| being single in your thirties, East Coast, O'Flanagan's, wine bars

Don’t Ask Unless We Tell

April 27th, 2011 — 2:31pm

When you’re single, the subject of your love life invariably comes up in conversation — even if you don’t want it to.

Now that I’m in the second half of my thirties, I can’t help noticing how my dating status is considered fair game, the default topic of choice among partnered up folks especially. It’s as though every other pursuit or relationship in a single person’s life is considered less important than who she is (or is not) dating.

I was reminded of this during a phone conversation about how I would be listed in my alma mater’s alumna directory.

“It’s been nearly eleven years since you graduated,” the representative needlessly reminded me. “Do you have any family information you would like to share — Spouse? Children?”

“No I don’t,” I said curtly, refraining from adding what I am tempted to almost every time someone asks me about my love life. Which is that if there’s something worth telling, I will tell it.

All too often, people assume that singles are so wrapped up in finding happily ever after that we want to blather on about it. Or, in the case of the directory rep, that being of a certain age means you must be of a certain relationship status. Neither assumption is true.

So the next time you find yourself curious about a single person’s dating life, consider asking something else instead. Because there’s much more to being unattached than looking for a mate — and that’s a subject I’m more than happy to talk about.

| being single in your thirties, dating

A Birthday Celebration At Uva

June 2nd, 2010 — 6:40pm

Saturday night, I headed over to Uva wine bar on NYC’s Upper East Side for my good friend and trainer Crystal’s birthday celebration.

Happy Birthday: Crystal and me at Uva

Over a festive dinner (the grilled calamari salad is delish) with a group of about fifteen people, I had the pleasure of chatting with Crystal’s friends and fellow trainers, Alex, Ricky and Brandon — all charming, fun and curious about my recent Great Dating Blitz.

In talking about what I learned from my travels, including that singles outside of New York tend to be more minded toward settling down, we also reflected on the challenges of dating in the Big Apple.

Alex, like many other NYC men I’ve encountered, said he thinks money and status play too big a part in the singles scene here, a sentiment that Ricky echoed. Ricky prefers to not reveal what he does for a living right away.

I couldn’t help thinking that, for better or worse, one of the common price tags of thirtysomething singlehood is the expectation that whomever you date will bring a certain level of financial independence to the table. And it seems like, sometimes, that expectation gets in the way of romance before it even has a chance to start.

| being single in New York, being single in your thirties, celebrating with friends, The Great Dating Blitz, Upper East Side, Uva wine bar

Happy Birthday To Me

January 21st, 2010 — 5:08pm


I’m officially 36 years old today. As I enter the — gulp — second half of my thirties, I find myself feeling especially grateful for the life lessons this decade has taught me so far.

Job-wise, I’ve learned that one of my exes had it right when he said a career isn’t a sprint, it’s a long-distance run. It takes perseverance and hard work to get where you want to be, and to not lose sight of the big picture.

When it comes to friendships, this has been an era of rediscovering that proximity (or lack thereof) has no bearing on the true ties that bind. Many of the friends closest to my heart are geographically the furthest away, yet our bond remains unbreakable.

Of course, no birthday reflecting would be complete without a nod to the trajectory of my love life. It’s been a fabulous, tumultuous and often incongruous ride as a thirtysomething single gal — but I think, at long last, I’ve finally learned to roll with the punches (okay, or at least try to!). And to laugh about the ups and downs along the way.

It’s nice to feel like I’m not only another year older but, hopefully, a little wiser too. Who could ask for a better birthday present than that?

| being single in your thirties, birthday reflections, long-distance friends

Happy Birthday To Me

January 21st, 2010 — 12:08pm


I’m officially 36 years old today. As I enter the — gulp — second half of my thirties, I find myself feeling especially grateful for the life lessons this decade has taught me so far.

Job-wise, I’ve learned that one of my exes had it right when he said a career isn’t a sprint, it’s a long-distance run. It takes perseverance and hard work to get where you want to be, and to not lose sight of the big picture.

When it comes to friendships, this has been an era of rediscovering that proximity (or lack thereof) has no bearing on the true ties that bind. Many of the friends closest to my heart are geographically the furthest away, yet our bond remains unbreakable.

Of course, no birthday reflecting would be complete without a nod to the trajectory of my love life. It’s been a fabulous, tumultuous and often incongruous ride as a thirtysomething single gal — but I think, at long last, I’ve finally learned to roll with the punches (okay, or at least try to!). And to laugh about the ups and downs along the way.

It’s nice to feel like I’m not only another year older but, hopefully, a little wiser too. Who could ask for a better birthday present than that?

| being single in your thirties, birthday reflections, long-distance friends

A Double Dose Of Female Bonding

November 18th, 2009 — 10:30pm

Saturday, I enjoyed a double dose of female bonding that began with galpal Amanda.

Pershing Square: This cozy bistro is conveniently located right across from Grand Central Terminal

Over brunch at cozy bistro Pershing Square in Grand Central, we caught up on work, life and dating. Amanda filled me in on PR plans for her upcoming travel memoir The Lost Girls, including a book club tour across the U.S. I told her about an industry award that could lead to winning Best of Show with my colleagues for the second time in my PR career.

We also talked about one of our biggest pet peeves in the dating world – text messaging. Phone-o-phobia, as calls it, has reached epidemic proportions among single men. Both Amanda and I have recently gone out with great guys who choose texting as a means for making plans. Sorry, but romance simply doesn’t go hand in hand with messages of 160 characters or less.

Later, I headed to lively bar Joshua Tree in Midtown for my good friend and former colleague Cristina’s bachelorette party.

All Smiles: Bride-to-be Cristina and me

Over multiple rounds of cocktails and shots, we toasted the bride-to-be on her pending nuptials in Boston next month to longtime love Chris. Thanks to an endless loop of 80’s videos, I got my groove on on top of a chair – until a grumpy bouncer instructed me to sit down. I should’ve told him to relax, because I’ve done this particular maneuver several times over the years without incident.

Shaking My Booty: The music at Joshua Tree made this inevitable

After bidding the bride-to-be goodnight, I was feeling wistful so I decided to walk up Third Avenue for awhile. I remembered when Cristina got engaged two years ago and felt unnerved all over again about still being single.

But then I reminded myself of the upside about being unattached, namely the adventure of what’s right around the corner. HurryDater E is taking me out for date #2 on Friday.

| bachelorette parties, being single in your thirties, female bonding, Grand Central, HurryDate, Pershing Square, The Joshua Tree, The Lost Girls

A Double Dose Of Female Bonding

November 18th, 2009 — 5:30pm

Saturday, I enjoyed a double dose of female bonding that began with galpal Amanda.

Pershing Square: This cozy bistro is conveniently located right across from Grand Central Terminal

Over brunch at cozy bistro Pershing Square in Grand Central, we caught up on work, life and dating. Amanda filled me in on PR plans for her upcoming travel memoir The Lost Girls, including a book club tour across the U.S. I told her about an industry award that could lead to winning Best of Show with my colleagues for the second time in my PR career.

We also talked about one of our biggest pet peeves in the dating world – text messaging. Phone-o-phobia, as calls it, has reached epidemic proportions among single men. Both Amanda and I have recently gone out with great guys who choose texting as a means for making plans. Sorry, but romance simply doesn’t go hand in hand with messages of 160 characters or less.

Later, I headed to lively bar Joshua Tree in Midtown for my good friend and former colleague Cristina’s bachelorette party.

All Smiles: Bride-to-be Cristina and me

Over multiple rounds of cocktails and shots, we toasted the bride-to-be on her pending nuptials in Boston next month to longtime love Chris. Thanks to an endless loop of 80’s videos, I got my groove on on top of a chair – until a grumpy bouncer instructed me to sit down. I should’ve told him to relax, because I’ve done this particular maneuver several times over the years without incident.

Shaking My Booty: The music at Joshua Tree made this inevitable

After bidding the bride-to-be goodnight, I was feeling wistful so I decided to walk up Third Avenue for awhile. I remembered when Cristina got engaged two years ago and felt unnerved all over again about still being single.

But then I reminded myself of the upside about being unattached, namely the adventure of what’s right around the corner. HurryDater E is taking me out for date #2 on Friday.

| bachelorette parties, being single in your thirties, female bonding, Grand Central, HurryDate, Pershing Square, The Joshua Tree, The Lost Girls

Being Happy About Being Single

July 13th, 2009 — 9:30pm


It’s that time of year again – when the sight of baby bumps and the sound of I Dos are as common as the mercury rising.

The other day, I spotted three pregnant women within a two-block radius. And I’ll be attending two weddings this month.

With all of this exposure to babies and happily ever after, I can’t help thinking about timing and what an impact it has on these milestones.

When I was in my twenties, I never imagined that I would reach my mid-thirties and still be single. Looking back at the trajectory my life has taken, though, I can’t imagine it having gone any other way.

Over the last decade, I’ve had the pleasure and privilege of following my dreams wherever they’ve taken me. From chasing on-camera stardom in Illinois and Delaware to living the good Aussie life as a Sydney resident for five months, I have truly enjoyed the freedom that comes with being unattached.

And, of course, along the way, I have made a few pitstops for romance. I’ve experienced my fair share of serious relationships and not so serious dalliances that have helped shape both the woman I’ve become and the partner I look forward to becoming someday. In the meantime, I’m happy to be single – and to be a part of the nuptial and parental rites of passage.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll even catch the bouquet.

| baby bumps, being single in your thirties, Delaware, following your dreams, Sydney, weddings and babies season

Being Happy About Being Single

July 13th, 2009 — 4:30pm


It’s that time of year again – when the sight of baby bumps and the sound of I Dos are as common as the mercury rising.

The other day, I spotted three pregnant women within a two-block radius. And I’ll be attending two weddings this month.

With all of this exposure to babies and happily ever after, I can’t help thinking about timing and what an impact it has on these milestones.

When I was in my twenties, I never imagined that I would reach my mid-thirties and still be single. Looking back at the trajectory my life has taken, though, I can’t imagine it having gone any other way.

Over the last decade, I’ve had the pleasure and privilege of following my dreams wherever they’ve taken me. From chasing on-camera stardom in Illinois and Delaware to living the good Aussie life as a Sydney resident for five months, I have truly enjoyed the freedom that comes with being unattached.

And, of course, along the way, I have made a few pitstops for romance. I’ve experienced my fair share of serious relationships and not so serious dalliances that have helped shape both the woman I’ve become and the partner I look forward to becoming someday. In the meantime, I’m happy to be single – and to be a part of the nuptial and parental rites of passage.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll even catch the bouquet.

| baby bumps, being single in your thirties, Delaware, following your dreams, Sydney, weddings and babies season

June 22nd, 2009 — 2:11pm

Last night, I went out with Patrick, a 43-year-old real estate accountant and part-time comedian.

Patrick I and first connected back in March through TheSquare.com. With tax season finally over (his clients include Blue Parrot, the Hamptons restaurant co-owned by Jon Bon Jovi), he resurfaced a couple of weeks ago.

Accademia di Vino: This UES wine bar has a great menu…and mouth-watering cheese plate

We met up for drinks at my favorite neighborhood date spot, Accademia di Vino on NYC’s Upper East Side. Over a couple of glasses of white wine and a heavenly shared cheese plate — five varieties including pecorino and parmigiano — we talked about far-flung travel destinations and juggling our respective day jobs with extracurricular pursuits.

In addition to being a veteran of Gotham’s comedy club scene, Patrick has tried out for NBC’s “Last Comic Standing.” He gave me a sample of his repertoire and I was impressed with his ability to deliver a good punch line.

Also refreshing — his honesty about how being single past a certain age often leads to questions. Nice to know women aren’t the only ones on the receiving end of this.

Patrick says he tells inquiring minds that, with life in New York being as full-on as it is, thirty and even fortysomething single hood isn’t so unusual. Truer words were never spoken.

Patrick walked me home and said he’d like to go out again, maybe even have me come and watch him perform. I’m not sure I felt sparks between us…which is why I’m looking forward even more to my long-awaited second date tonight with Rich.

| Accademia di Vino, being single in your thirties, first dates, , The Hamptons, Upper East Side

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